all i need is YOU.

Usher - There Goes My Baby

2010-08-30T04:08:00.001+08:00

if amrit comes out as hot as Usher, ill go - "there goes my baby~!"

the world's most irritating dad.

2010-08-30T02:17:00.005+08:00

"the greatest gift in honor is having you for a daughter."

Found this picture from Mulan, that reminded me of my relationship with my dad. This movie demonstrated how my dad and i were, towards each other. He is a over-protected father who wants the best for his daughter, but i wanna live my life the way i want.

We didn't really got along, most of my growing up years - but now, i can say that we're trying to work towards something. I grow up making plenty of mistakes, and my father was there to clear the shit i got myself into. And when i was in my teenage years, i did everything in my power to make it right. And why i had to do this, was because my father lost his trust w me. I would lie about almost everything - and it came to the point where everything i was saying was a lie, to him.

And ever since that point in my life, i tried my best to make it up to him, even till now. But my father forgot that i'm a growing adult, who will have to leave the house soon & fall in love. The point in his life, where he has to stop holding on to me. I think he forgot that his daughter is now a woman.

I don't blame him for seeing me in that way. My behavior doesn't really help in a way, whenever i'm at home. But that doesn't change the fact that I'll have to go one day.

The reason for this post is for the kiss to the forehead that my dad gave me just now. For e encouragement he gives me, whenever he senses my discomfort in life. No matter how many times we scream at each other - to the point where we wanna kill each other, i still love him in the end.

i love my football crazy daddy!

:(

2010-08-29T03:22:00.001+08:00

i really do.

wetness all over.

2010-08-28T02:33:00.001+08:00

Amrit, this is what i call sexy syg!

man + bike = FUCKING HOT!

i think im in love! <3

when a boy turns into a men.

2010-08-28T01:45:00.002+08:00

you make me wanna call you in the middle of the night.
you make me wanna hold you till the morning light.

The time for him to turn into a men, has arrived. Managed to sent him off, all the way to Pulau Tekong with his family. I can honestly say, for a girlfriend.. this is a big thing. Watching him man up to his responsibilities makes me feel very proud of him. He was rather very excited to get it started, that all he said was "bye" to me. But whatever it is, they will have to complete this one day or another, so I would rather he does it now then later on.

I do miss him. Every night before i go to bed, he is the only person i think of. Im so used to hearing his voice before i go to sleep, so this is definitely a big change. I keep telling myself that it is only 2 weeks, but 2 weeks is a really long time. Its equal to 14 days. In those 14 days, so many things can happen. But whatever it is, I promised myself and him that i wouldn't make it hard on him, cause i know he will be worried about me. So i keep msging him everyday that, everything is fine and that i love him. I guess by reassuring him, it makes his journey a lil bit easier. I hope so. - fingers crossed-

He will book out on the eve of Hari Raya, for those of you who are wondering. So if you wanna look for him, please msg him after he books out.

I WANT A POLAROID CAMERA!

2010-08-23T15:02:00.002+08:00

i want a polaroid camera, badly!

*wink wink* *hint hint*

Hedley - Perfect

2010-08-20T04:15:00.001+08:00

as long as i can feel you, holding on, i wont fall.
even if you said i was wrong.
im not perfect, but i keep trying.

for you.

Backstreet Boys - Helpless When She Smiles

2010-08-14T01:06:00.001+08:00

i keep my secrets in my eyes, i wrap the truth inside my lies.
just when you can't say what i've done to you, i led you back to paradise.

i guess this song explains everything.

if you really mean what you say, then you'll understand amrit.

i hate love - contradicting, i know.

2010-08-12T23:22:00.003+08:00

if only he knew;

I have officially hate LOVE - contradicting, but who cares. I hate falling in love, being in love and being loved. Some people say, love lasts a lifetime, but it doesn't happen for everyone. Everyone goes through breakups. The time when you fall head over heels over someone, think that you're gonna marry him/her, have he/her kids and live happily every after, but you're wrong when you realize you're the only one standing at the aisle.

I'm not saying that I have been left at the aisle before, but I had my fair share of heartbreaks in my 20 years. The heartbreaks usually come from the most unexpected people in your life, parents, siblings, family members, friends and even boyfriends. So maybe that is why I have this grudge against LOVE.

I've actually had enough of being treated like a useless piece of crap. I'm sorry if this isn't what you're looking for in life, but i definitely know one thing, you're enjoying the life that you've always wanted. I mean nothing - i get it, but give me some credit at least. Now it hurts when you hear me say things - things that you never wanna hear, but it's time for me to be honest with myself. I can't keep hiding behind this so called, LOVE and hope that things will change for the better.

I love you and will always do, but I aren't gonna bother you with nonsensical crap in my life anymore. SORRY.

Picture Update :)

2010-08-08T03:22:00.003+08:00

a well spent friday.

TGIF!

Tu Jahaan - Salaam Namaste

2010-08-08T03:12:00.002+08:00

"tu jahaan main wahan"

the place where you are, i am there.

when you're not around, i'll just keep myself sane with this song. and you most realize that where ever you may be, in the jungle or camp, ill always be there with you, throughout the whole journey.

life after and before SINGFEST \m/

2010-08-05T23:57:00.005+08:00

dory fish burger :) yummy~~!

lunch @ The Handburger

while waiting for KANYE WEST.

was mesmerized by LUPE FIASCO'S performance.

Ad Seminar 2010 @ The Boutique Hotel

SINGFEST 10- day 2.

lunch at food for thought, that had horrible service.

yellow yellow dirty fellow~!

If you are the one, then us meeting here is fate.
Buy a house with a fireplace.
This is the first I've seen your face but there's a chance we are soulmates.
I know that this might sounds crazy, cause you don't even know my name.

17 more days. Overwhelmed by the amount of days i'm left with, before he goes in. i didnt mean to count down the days, but i was doing something and coincidently i started counting about this too. but one thing is for sure, i felt like shit after knowing the number is getting lesser and lesser, as the days pass. its not like im never gonna see him again, right? its just knowing that he won't be there whenever i need him, is killing me. but whatever it is, i promised him that i'll be strong.

anyways, attended SINGFEST yesterday for the first time. okay, i know i sound like a noob but it was freaking awesome - actually i was only talking about LUPE FIASCO. fucking awesome artist! he was all over the stage, throwing his shirt into the crowd, posing for pictures on stage and stuff. it was an amazing experience. left the place earlier as i had school the next day, so amrit came over and picked us up. my driver was very nice, and I LOVE HIM, except the part where he forgot to off his hazard light! HAHAHAHA! CUTE KAN!

okay, upcoming events for this week. sunday's meetup with the girls - i was thinking of getting a lomo camera for this outing, but not sure if i can get it on time and with enough cash. :S so girls pls pray hard!

national day parade this monday, with yusoff, irfan and cik yati. and most probably, attending entertainment on 5 on tuesday - taufik batisah! woohoo!

does religion burn the fuel of hate?

2010-08-04T00:35:00.001+08:00

In protest of what it calls a religion "of the devil," a nondenominational church in Gainesville, Florida, plans to host an "International Burn a Quran Day" on the ninth anniversary of the September 11, 2001, attacks.

The Dove World Outreach Center says it is hosting the event to remember 9/11 victims and take a stand against Islam. With promotions on its website and Facebook page, it invites Christians to burn the Muslim holy book at the church from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m.

I don't know if I should take it as an insult or just a joke. The way people look at my religion has all changed, after a group of guys, decide to fly into the twin towers. It just takes a handful of people, to hate a religion. Its sad to know that "the religion of peace", is being labelled as - the religion of the devil.

I was taught, since i was young that Islam is a religion of peace and cleanliness - and that is how i still look at it. So for a Pastor to come and shout out that my religion is of the devil, then that is just a lil insulting.

I'm not saying that I hate Christianity, cause

I DON'T - cause i respect them as a religion.

I graduated from a Christian Secondary School and they have taught us better things than that.

I just think that if they really wanna make their voice heard, then maybe they shouldn't burn a sacred book. That is just my opinion, and I'm not speaking on anyone's behalf, cause to me, if i don't say anything or voice this out then i'm just being a coward-less muslim, who is afraid to stand up for what she believes in.

HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY, MOMMY!

2010-07-29T01:56:00.004+08:00

carnivals are not fun when you're not the one playing the games.

2010-07-29T01:48:00.004+08:00

when the lecturer's ain't looking.

2010-07-29T01:44:00.002+08:00

who said working has to be boring..

2010-07-24T23:53:00.002+08:00

"well the floors underneath our feet's are crumbling, the walls we build together tumbling. i still stand here, holding up the roof, cause its easier then telling the truth"

just got home, not long back, from work. it was our first time heading over to MBS (Marina Bay Sands). got lost at promenade and didn't know where we were going. the only thing we did was, followed the signs and civilization. it was beautiful place, but apparently there were still alot of things that needed to be completed. but anyways, it was still a nice place.

first day was not that bad. had to help set up the stalls and workshop. collected our uniform and got assigned to our respective stations. i got some chinese calligraphy stall, and i think i'll be stuck with some chinese dude. just hope he's friendly. :)

have to report rather early tmr, so hope its gonna be a good day. but before that, gonna head over to mcdonald for some breakfast, but i'm broke! :( we'll see how it goes, ya!

that's all for now. peace.

what else can i do..

2010-07-24T02:43:00.001+08:00

i guess - crying myself to sleep would help me tonight.

my grandma gets a second great grandchild. :)

2010-07-24T02:39:00.002+08:00

introducing, Micaella Eleena. :)
(totally love the name - bytheway!)
this is my niece, my cousin's first kid.
she is the latest addiction to the family.
she was born on the 22nd July 2010.

youre invading everything that once belonged to me.

2010-07-24T01:01:00.004+08:00

I love this song but its making me cry.

I feel a certain connection to Simran, because our father's are the same.

The thing that hurts the most is that she's not real, but I'm leaving my life in my own Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge.

I want this feelings to go away, all feelings.

I don't wanna be like this anymore.

I want you to go away.

You're conquering every part of my life.

Whenever i close my eyes, youre there, smiling.

Whenever i go to bed, youre the person i yearn to hear from.

I walk to the mrt station, and youre the person i hope to bang into.

I don't want this anymore.

Youre not helping me, through my life.

Youre no where to be seen, in my life this past few days.

So why should i even remember you.

youre invading everything that once belonged to me.

Stop invading my dreams.

Stop invading my sanity.

I just wanna be able to live my life, like it use to be, while youre gone.

love the way you lie.

2010-07-22T22:57:00.002+08:00

DAMN IT, GIRRL!

what do i gotta do to get some attention from you?

2010-07-22T22:35:00.006+08:00

HAPPY 5TH YEAR 11 MONTH ANNIVERSARY!

This is definitely not how i wanted to celebrate our anniversary.

But, whatever it is, i still love you.

I will love you, forever and ever babe.

15years and counting.

2010-07-20T01:06:00.005+08:00

attended Kak Kartini's wedding on Sunday and went on a bowling outing with the rest.

here are the crazy people i grew up with since primary school all the way till now.

we stuck through everything with each other.

15 years and counting..

sick in the brain?

2010-07-20T00:54:00.002+08:00

how do i start school, when i'm sick.

ohh-god!

i had a whole 2 months to get sick, but my body decided that one day before school was a better timing.

amrit, i need you now.

how do you want your steak burnt?

2010-07-18T01:01:00.006+08:00

We had a nice bbq gathering yesterday, with plenty of food and drinks for everyone. It was a rather nice way to get ourselves together and celebrate the last few days before school starts. It was a great day, and I had lots of fun and totally forgot all of my problems. I even got sun burned from it, my poor nose. :) Here are some of the pictures.

2010-07-17T01:44:00.002+08:00

I miss my bestfriend/boyfriend. :(

iLikeeeeee!

2010-07-16T01:20:00.002+08:00

if only i could still keep my hair short - and still look good in it!

the hair colour is to die for, but i'll look like some indian female gangster and i'm pretty sure my dad will kill me.

Fashion kills! :)

should i be a lil bit concern?

2010-07-16T00:59:00.003+08:00

"he has mad personality."

had a rather interesting conversation with Grace this afternoon, about the problems i've been having. it wasn't easy at first, but I guess I really needed someone to talk too. even though, I know that there wasn't much she could do, she was still willing enough to listen. as she listens, she understood every single thing i said - and that made it even easier for me to open up.

i can honestly say, i've never opened up this much to anyone before, and it was a good start. the first time in years, i've talked about something like this w/o breaking down - and when i say breakdown, i really mean breakdown, life changing. i guess, as i grew up, my life was already a mess and i never knew how to clean it up. i made plenty of mistakes in the past and never knew what to do after. the only way i thought i could, was to do everything my parents wanted me to do. believe whatever they wanted me to. its like a propaganda issue. i follow the leader, w/o thinking through the cons cause the leader put it in such a way, there was nothing better then him.

that was/is my greatest mistake. not cleaning up my life properly. getting rid of the problems before they pop back up into my life. its never easy, for me. i always thought, if i put the past behind me, paste a fake smile on and pretend nothing was wrong, then maybe, no one would realise a thing. i guess the past is catching up with me, and its time for me to do some spring cleaning.

spring cleaning season is here, and i'm starting with my relationship first.

Rihanna - There's A Thug In My Life.

2010-07-15T03:07:00.001+08:00

there's a thug in my life. how am i gonna tell my momma. she's gonna say it ain't right, but he's so good to me. its gonna cause crazy drama, and when i see him tonight, i'm gonna give him everything.

too many reasons for me to let myself go.

2010-07-15T01:52:00.003+08:00

1:55AM, and still no sign of concern. Does that mean, I'm suppose to be worried, even a little bit? Or is that a sign for me, to get off my lazy ass and do something? I really don't know. It wasn't easy for me to say those things to him, but someone had too. So i was the BITCH.

2:14AM, the bitch did it again. Send a message, to inform him that i was still alive. Even after sending the message, I'm still fuming mad. ARGGHH! He makes me so mad sometimes. I don't know what he wants from me, nowadays. He wants me to carry his helmet properly, i did that. He wants me to sit properly on the bike, I did. He wants me to be the ideal girlfriend, i did try but still not up to expectations. I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD BE PISSED AT HIM FOR EXPECTING SO MUCH, OR MYSELF! I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE!

2:25AM, No fucking reply. I GIVE UP!

i've run-out of straws for you.

2010-07-14T03:01:00.002+08:00

I've come to the end of the line. The line that sets me apart from everyone else. This line keeps me from losing my sanity. My sanity is the only thing that is keeping me alive. Do I make sense, to you? I bet I don't.

I'm losing myself, slowly, but people don't see that. They don't see that part of me that sinks to the bottom of the bottomless pit of doom. My cousin told me, "we're all going to hell and i'm driving the bus!", that is so god-damn true! We're going to hell. You may pray to your own gods, but deep down we know we've done something we're not suppose too. Deep down, you made a mistake and there isn't anything you can do that can whine up the past, so you can take your sorry ass and make it right. You can't, i mean we can't.

I admit, i've made plenty of mistakes before, and i'm pretty sure i'm still making them as we speak. But the fact that hell doesn't scare me anymore, scare me shitless. Knowing that I don't care about how I'll be after I die, makes no difference in my life, cause right now, I'm dead to everyone. To the world and to the people I love.

Hell is just a word created by man, to scare kids in doing the things that man wants them to do. Mom would stare at they're kids and say, "God sees everything, and he's gonna throw your ass to hell if you don't go to church." - Back to what i was saying.

From lines to losing myself and finally to hell, what can i conclude from this post? Well, that's simple.. The people that i love, is driving me to the point where I don't believe in things i can feel or touch. They're driving me to my grave, as i speak. The people that i love are the ones that are pulling me down, emotionally and physically. They are the ones who made me so god-damn IMPERFECT, for the boy that i once thought was my bestfriend.

That boy, no longer exist as my bestfriend, but just a friend that i've fallen in love with. I'm sorry to say this, but its true. I told you once, but i don't mind saying it again.. You never understood me, and you'll never will. Sorry I don't come with an instruction manual or a booklet for you to refer too. I was just made this way, un-willingly.

Just ignore the ranting, needed time to write SHIT down.

dear daddy,

2010-07-09T01:13:00.004+08:00

just gonna stand there and watch me burn, thats all right because i like the way it hurts.

The fights have got to stop. We have got to stop doing this to each other. We do nothing but blame each other, for the way our lives are. Stop blaming me for turning out this way. I use to think I was always the reason for why I never turned out normal, but the fact is, I love myself, the way I am. I wanna live my life this way, with the people I love, so you don't have to judge me just because of this. We're wasting so much time, on stupid things, and forgot the importance of living with each other. I don't wanna wake up, one day and realize its too late.

We've wasted my teenage years fighting over everything I use to do. My grades, my netball, my money, my friends. It has always been me. I'm gonna leave this house, one day, and when that day comes, I wanna get the blessings of both you and mommy. The days I would come home, and cry in my room cause you don't treat me the way you treat the boys. You look at me different, and I was always the guinea pig. I use to cut myself. Yes, cut my wrist. I admit it now. I still have scars to remind me of my stupid decisions. I felt pain everyday, dad. I was never good enough for you, at least that was how you made me feel.

You were so over protective, controlling and negative. You always had something negative to say about the way I ran, or the way I passed the ball. Like the time I was training for sports day. You took a piece of paper, and drew out a freaking graph of the track and shouted at me, of the right way to run. I told you to leave me alone and let me do my thing, but you didn't. You screamed even more and told me I would be slower if I didn't do what you said. I didn't do what you said, dad. You were watching me from the stands, and you could see that I did well. I brought home a gold medal, dad but all you did was congratulated Asyraf for he's medal.

Why is hard for me to impress you? I did everything right dad. I competed in swimming, track, netball, football and volleyball, but none of it was enough for you.

I was never the perfect daughter, I get it. But at least give me the credit for trying. I was an embarrassment to you, the child that didn't turn out the way you wanted, i get it. You don't have to make my childhood a living hell. I don't wanna live my life with a father I didn't want to rely on. Normal kids would wish to be a doctor or a football sensation when they grew up, but all i ever wanted to be, was your baby girl.

how could you be so hot, yet so cold to me.

2010-07-07T01:19:00.004+08:00

Just got back home, after a long day with AMRIT. He knows that i'm mad at him, but he did try to make it up to me. Being all nice and all. Really appreciated it, even though i didn't show much. Well, thank you for the simple yet enjoyable day, filled with bowling and dinner.

Did i mention that school was about to start? YES, SCHOOL! YEAR 3! I'm excited. Excited at the fact that my life is gonna take a drastic change after i graduate, hopefully. And that will be the day, Aisyah will start to live life the way she has always wanted it to be. :)

That's all for today. I will upload more pictures soon. Hopefully from the soccer game this friday. :)

Deuces - Chris Brown feat. Tyga & Kevin McCall (Official Video)

2010-06-30T23:04:00.001+08:00

I'm moving on to something better, better.

No more trying to make it work.

You made me wanna say bye bye, say bye bye, say bye bye to her.

MUSE - Neutron Star Collision (Love Is Forever) [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

2010-06-30T02:08:00.001+08:00

Eclipse is one day away! :)

Trey Songz - Already Taken [Step Up 3D]

2010-06-30T02:04:00.001+08:00

i'm already taken. <3

Justin Bieber - Somebody To Love (Remix) ft. Usher

2010-06-30T02:02:00.001+08:00

through the storm..

2010-06-30T01:50:00.003+08:00

I'm not afraid to take a stand.
Everybody come take my hand.
We'll walk this road together, through the storm.
Whatever weather, cold or warm.
Just let you know that, you're not alone.
Holla, if you feel that you've been down the same road.

the confessions of a ______________ queen.

2010-06-29T02:43:00.003+08:00

"Aisyah is having another unplanned and unglamorous breakdown."

I wanted to tweet that 5 minutes ago, but what would people say or think. The real question is, why am i even having this emotional breakdowns. I had a normal day. A normal day with amrit. Had a nice conversation with my mom before i left and bullied my younger brother before he went into he's room, to embark on a journey called schoolwork. I still can't figure it out.

I do admit, i was a little sensitive today. The littlest things would set me off. The things Amrit said, or the things he did, would make me mad. I tried to hold it back but he knows i'm mad. Its not like I wanna be mad, I'm just on a shorter fuse then before.

And you know what is making me even more angry right now, is the fact that Mr Amrit Dave Singh is not back from JB with Mr Kashful Ahtank. ARRRGGGH!

FYI, I need to meet me girls soon, before i lose my sanity.

the fight between taste-buds.

2010-06-25T01:44:00.003+08:00

Seriously, staying home has never felt so good and bad at the same time. My body is thanking me for staying home, finally. But i kinda miss hanging out with amrit. I know i've been out with him for almost 2 days straight now, but i never get tired of that boy.

Well, as you can see, we have been going out for the 2 days. Out for lunch and dinner together, and i can confidently say i'm broke. The first night we were out, we shared lunch then for dinner, he paid for it. We had a simple dinner with yo and alip at RK. The second day, I paid for lunch and contributed abit for dinner at Newton with Dee&Ahtank. Then spent the night lepaking under one of the blocks with Sathiya, who has finally booked out.

Well, that's all for now. Well update with more pictures from tmr's meet-up. :)

whatever that happened in shanghai, stayed in shanghai. :)

2010-06-23T02:46:00.008+08:00

the boys.

peek-a-boo.

aren't they cute?!

the night market that we love so much.

on the way to the night market.

everyone was wearing a hoody as we didnt wanna freeze to death.

huiyun&me

during supper.

gangsta love.

he thinks he's jacket is nicer then mine, but its NOT!

the midnight hangout.

here are more pictures from my shanghai trip.
it doesn't seem to end, since almost all my classmates brought their own camera.
so i guess ill just be updating with pictures.
:)

what else can i update for today..

hmmm..

oh well, i spent my day with amrit.

it was our anniversary, so he picked me up with he's new shiny toy.

CBR 400.

what can i say about it?

it was a smooth ride.

then..

we watched a movie at he's place then went to meet yo and alip for dinner at RK.

soon after, we met ahtank who was from he's gf house, then made our way to lower seletar reservoir.

they spent their time there, talking about ghost, one hour before midnight.

of course it did spook me out a little so i just sat there, quietly.

which after, we made our way back as the boys wanted to play dota.

i guess this is the only way we get to really spent time together.

i seem to like it when we go places, together.

doesn't matter if he's friends tag along or its just the 2 of us.

i like the feeling.

i know that after he goes in for NS, i hardly get to see him.

He'll be busy serving the nation and i'll be occupied with school.

so i wanna spent as much time as i can with him.

why not take advantage of the fact that he has a bike now, and there is no excuse to not go out, right?!

Mr Jones, one soy decaf latte with less foam and low fat milk on the side, pls?

2010-06-22T01:54:00.002+08:00

ever since i quit jones, i missed the crazy people who made my working days CRAZY.

had a mini gathering, only with val and munching, but it was enough to take heeran down.

met my poached egg (grace lim) after my trip to shanghai.

missed her like crazy!

passed her the gifts i got for her, and i'm glad she loved it.

it was much but it was from the heart.

oh ya, grace. did i tell you that my boyfriend said we could be lesbian partners?

HAHAHAHAHHA!

Qing jing qing jing, Wu Xiao Piao..!

2010-06-22T00:05:00.018+08:00

ohh ya, did i mention that i change my hair colour? :)

our tour bus. :)

sleeping on the bus is so much more comfortable.

im actually one of the girls caught having an affair with him. sorry amrit. :)

he is so fucking tall.

Ipman.

".. ill be baaaccck!"

ohh-god senget, i get nightmares everytime i see it. :)

the gay group.

she's fucking hot even in wax.

met my sista

".. all the single ladies."

Prince William.

WORLD CUP!

yes obama, we can change!

albert, you make me confused?

astronaut aisyah latiff.

playing dress up.

sylvester stallone

nicole kidman.

tom cruise.

madonna.

meeting julia roberts.

the second day in expo.

the heart shaped cigarettes that i bought for my baby.

the switzerland ride.

after conquering the switzerland queue.

day one in the world expo.

the whole of shanghai in modal size.

Macdonalds in Shanghai.

the scenery from the ferry ride.

the BSE.

meeting the locals for the first time.

the view from the top.

the oriental pearl tower.

arrival.

before the flight to shanghai.

bumble just kept snapping pictures with my camera.

at one of the coolest museum's in Shanghai.

on the ferry.

at the top of the tower.

the whole Shanghai Group.

outside the art galleries.

bumble bee and me.

waiting for bumble bee to figure out the directions.

Shanghai's bubble tea shop "Digimon"

the queue for the Switzerland Pavilion

Ni Hao!

I know i've not been updating much, ever since i've been back from shanghai.

well, sorry.

i was really caught up with lots of catching up with sleep and loved ones.

let me describe shanghai in one word.

hmmm...

OVER- POPULATED!

If you thought Singaporeans were kiasu, you should get yourself a taste of shanghai.

Its horrible when it comes to the contact you have with the locals.

Everything they do seem to piss you off.

The pushing, the shoving, the loud talking and the list goes on and on..

The fact that i know that i'm surrounded by so many chinese makes me nervous, but its good i have my peeps with me.

Shopping was really limited for me.

I tried to get whatever i could for my loved ones.

Its not that there wasnt anything there, but its just that i ran low on cash on the 4th day.

I was running on 100RMB (S$20) on the 4th day, and i was unable to do much.

Don't ask me where the money went to, or what i did.

Simply said, I had lots of fun.

I know there were quite a number of people that were trying to get me online.

Well, sorry if you tried, but thank you for trying though.

i was just really occupied.

we came back late almost every night.

and by the time we came home, we would get ready to hang out in one of our rooms.

its either to watch a soccer match or *ehem*.

well..

i don't really have the energy to tell you guys everything.

maybe my next post will be about my entire trip.

but for now, i'll let you guys dwell with some pictures we took.

enjoysss. :)

the only exception is you.

2010-06-03T00:19:00.009+08:00

Secondary Graduation Night.
Prom King & Prom Queen.

Chinese New Year Celebration.
In history class, with our matching watches.
I can't find the watch anymore, as in i don't know where it is anymore.
Sorry syg.

I cant remember whose birthday this was, i think it was you're birthday outing, and also a double date with dee&ahtank.

The first time we wore a couple shirt & the first time i met you're mother-side.

Look what i found, amrit. <3

I love you, b****a-head!

ASIA NOW JUNIOR INDOOR SOCCER LEAGUE 2010.

2010-05-31T01:42:00.015+08:00

RUN BOY RUNNNNNNN!

2010-05-31T01:19:00.005+08:00

stupid in love.

I'll skip all the crap that I was planning to say. I'll go straight to the point. I'm miserable and rather suicidal. I hate life, and always wondered why am I still here. I love the people around me, but I think I'm bothering them, taking up their personal space and the oxygen they breathe. The last time i felt this way, was probably when I was in Sec 1. The start of teen-hood was the end of life itself, for me. I was a rebellious teen who had a crappy life, miserable family and an ex boyfriend that was full of bull-shit! Now I'm back to square one.

Well, since I've unleashed my crap-iness, I shall now tell you about my day. Went over to The Kallang Cage. It was definitely my first time over, and I'm pretty impressed with the whole thing. I was the main photographer for my father's friends event. It was a kid's soccer league, and I can definitely say, the kids were freaking talented. They started from the age of 5 and they came in different shapes, sizes and colours. They came together to represent their different town CC's, and I was definitely impressed. Besides the weather that nearly gave me a heat stroke, the whole event was a complete success. Well done boys!

The only thing that bothered me deeply, was the way the parents were reacting during the games. The whole reason for this league was for the kids to learn discipline and respect for the game and also their fellow opponents, but the parents didnt take the lead. They embarrassed themselves. I was really disappointed. The kids would be in the cage, playing their hearts out and all you can hear from the parents were, " EHHHHH, TAKE THAT BOY DOWN! COME ON! FASTER LA! THAT BOY CHEATED! HOW COULD HE PULL MY SON DOWN!". Awww, come on parents. Some of the kids were so stressed out, that some even broke down on court. They wanted to have fun but parents made it otherwise. I hate parents who do nothing but grumble or complains about something that their not even involved in. If the kids were to complain, I would understand but this were the parents. How sad can this be for Singapore?

CONGRATULATIONS TO KAK FARAH ON YOUR WEDDING! :)

while you were gone.

2010-05-30T03:02:00.016+08:00

i got sun-burned on the nose.

that's for you, baby.

2010-05-28T01:15:00.000+08:00

the imperfect fit.

2010-05-27T02:03:00.003+08:00

i'm the imperfect piece in your life.

it has always been like this,

but it took me that long to realize.

you liked the idea of me being there with you,

calling me youre girl.

you loved the idea of someone loving you back,

but you didnt love me for who i am.

you thought i was the missing piece in youre life,

but i was the imperfect fit.

i've been trying to fit myself into the life you wanted,

but sorry to say,

i dont belong there.

i was never the perfect girl.

my hand was never the perfect fit.

my love was never perfect from the beginning,

but we still managed to get thru this.

i told you before, and i will tell you again.

only stay if you love me for who i am.

whatever else that is in between,

i don't wanna be part of it.

honestly,

you were never the perfect guy either.

but i guess i made do with it.

raise your middle fingers to the world.

2010-05-27T00:47:00.004+08:00

let me see.

how do i break the news to you?

hmmmm..

FUCK OFF!

Oooops! Was that too harsh for you?

I don't fucking care right now!

amrit, could you help me pls?

2010-05-25T03:22:00.004+08:00

can i have some potato chips, pls?

Had some quality time with Amrit yesterday. Spent the whole day at he's place, watching The Orphan & The Losers (halfway). We didn't do much though. We chill in bed and abused each other. There was a point where we were both so angry with each other, that we started scolding each other. Within 5 minutes, he did something to make me laugh and there we were happy again. It doesn't take me long to forget what we were fighting about. I love that about him, the fact that he knows me to well. Oh ya, amrit is also a very sore loser. He keeps saying that I cheated but i didn't. SO FACE IT AMRIT! :P

please don't stop the rain.

2010-05-23T23:38:00.006+08:00

what could you do without a third-class citizen?

"Poached eggs on toast with butter on the side, a cafe latte with skim milk, pls?

One Jones English Breakfast with Scrambled eggs. A hot skinny cappuccino, after the meal pls?

I asked for Vanilla Cream, and this doesn't even taste like Vanilla?!

My eggs are too dry, I want them wet, pls!"

The constant demands never stop. The more i think about it, the more frustrated i get. Thinking that i have to serve this morons for the sake of money, as a part time third-class citizens upsets me. I was born in a middle class family that showered they're children with love and everything that they could ever need or could afford, so why am i even working? I would rather sit in bed, with a book in hand, and drown myself in fiction or take my brothers out for a soccer match, down at the multi storey carpark.

I kept asking myself that same question every single time someone asks me about their meal or the coffee they ordered 15 minutes ago. I seriously don't care about it. Maybe the only reason why i drag myself to work, is because of the close bond i've made with the people working there. With Grace, throughout the day, by my side, watching each other's back makes it easier i guess. But for how long would this last?

Jones is my first F&B job and it would definitely be my last. I've learnt so much from those ignorant rude customers. Even though i hate them so much, and put a fake smile on my face every single time, they have taught me a valuable lesson.. and that is to never be like THEM, full stop.

Sonny Bill Williams; New Zealand Rugby Player.

2010-05-22T22:24:00.011+08:00

New Zealand.

The land of white clouds, and not forgetting the All Blacks.

The last time i went over to New Zealand, I fell in love with the culture, the tribes and the guys.

But not the extend that I would hyperventilate over some juicy rugby player.

Okay, my latest fetish.

Sonny Bill Williams.

New Zealand All Blacks Rugby Player / Boxer.

The body.

The boy-next-door face.

The tattoo sleeve.

*drooling*

If only Amrit could have a tattoo, I want you to get just like that.

Amrit, then you wouldn't have to worry about me straying.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAA!

Just Joking. :)

te amo.

2010-05-22T21:55:00.005+08:00

somebody to love.

Distances makes the heart fonder.

Amrit went over to Malacca for a family trip on Friday morning. I know it was only the first day that he was not here and I had a dream about him already. The dream was the most beautiful and sweetest thing I could ever dream off, maybe some of you guys would disagree.

In the dream, we were married. I was at work, at the looks of my dressing, I was in some marketing company. He was at home, with he's family getting ready for some function. I called and asked him to take me home, as I wasn't feeling well. So he did. He was there before 20minutes, in a black Subaru Jeep. :) He sent me to the hospital for a check-up as i wasn't feeling well, and stayed with me thru-out the whole process. He was making fun of people in the hospital, just cause he was trying to make me laugh, as always. Then, the nurse approached and asked if i was allergic to anything or whether i was pregnant. I looked at Amrit, and smiled before saying, no. She said that it was just procedures. Then she continued to ask when was my last period. I started counting and realised that it has been awhile. I was so caught up with work and taking care of amrit that i forgot.

The nurse brought me for an ultra sound. And there it was.. I was 8weeks pregnant. It was a beautiful moment as I had happy tears, and Amrit was just speechless. He kissed my forehead and kept staring at the monitor.

I woke up after that. It was weird and beautiful, all at the same time. I didn't know what to do after I got up, so i decided to msg him and tell him about everything. I didn't care if he replied or not, but i just had to tell someone. I know its not normal for someone like me to dream of such stuff. Its really seldom that I have such dreams.

The last dream I had was, about Senget and the tall guy from school that was chasing me, after kissing me. Senget came to the rescue, and he was really slow!

With such dreams, I love going to sleep. Maybe i might meet Justin Timberlake or Stan Walker, or even get to make out with Sonny Bill Williams. You wouldn't know what will happen next. :)

twenty.five.twenty-ten

2010-05-20T00:40:00.002+08:00

ignorance runs through our veins.

There are days where i just wanna kill you, and days where i wished i never knew you. You make living so god-damn hard for me. I hate you for that. You do the silliest things to piss the shit out of me, and you do a good job at it. There are days when i wanna have a decent normal conversation with you - but youre busy. Then there are days when I just want to be left alone - then youre getting angry over the fact that you can't get through. You spent time with youre friends, stay up all night and go on a sleepless night, and I have to take the shit.

I'm more then just an option.

Refused to be forgotten.

I took a chance with my heart.

And, I feel it taking over.

Maybe what they say about us is true.

Stan Walker - Unbroken [Official Video]

2010-05-18T22:34:00.001+08:00

cause of you, i'm unbroken. :)

you have broken me into pieces that nothing else in this world can do it any worst.

you made me stronger, baby.

thanks amrit! <3

because of YOU, i'm unbroken.

2010-05-18T21:52:00.003+08:00

"She says te amo then she put her hand around me waist
I told her no,
She cries te amo i told her im not gonna run away but let me go
My soul is crying, without asking why
I said te amo, wouldnt somebody tell me what she said
Don't it mean I love you"

2 days. 2 days of invisibility. That was all i wanted, and that was what i got. But it came with a price. A costly one. I'm not proud of what i did, but i did what i thought was good for me. I was on the verge of losing myself. I'm not going to lose myself, for the sake of someone else's carelessness. I have better things in my life that needs my attention. For example, amrit.

"..but in the process, of what you want to do, you ignored me?"

I knew i have been unfair. I have been missing from your life. I kept you at a distance, so we wouldn't get into a conflict. I was trying to stay a distance, to protect us. Its not easy to explain, and like what i said, i don't expect you to understand. I know you feel that its unfair for you, but i'm gonna make things better. I'm sick and tired of getting hurt. I know i don't use this word whenever i had to, but i will now. SORRY.

"Dil Laga Liye" - Dil Hai Tumhara

2010-05-17T03:45:00.002+08:00

One of my favourite songs that i listen to whenever we fight. It just reminds me why I'm still here fighting for you're love.

"I've given you my heart, I am in love with you."

its more then just balls.

2010-05-16T23:38:00.010+08:00

As some of you guys might know, the World Cup is about to start. My family is all geared up (i think). We have this thing where we write down our predictions, each person has 5 choices and the person with the correct prediction is the winner. I don't even know why my family plays this, but it makes it very interesting. I still remember, we would wake up early just to strike out the countries that has been eliminated. The last winner, was my mom. She said Spain would win, and she was right.. So don't think my dad is always the one with the "answers"..

But as for mom and i, we look forward to something else. We are looking forward to the hot good looking guys. YES, HOT CUTE BOYS CHASING BALLS! HAHHAHAH! Here are some of them, for your eyes to indulge...

Cristiano Ronaldo, Portugal
He will always be in every girl's list.
He has the speed and looks that could kill.

Sergio Ramos, Spain.
He is the reason why I wanna visit Spain.
He is the reason why I wanna have a Spanish husband.
He can *ehem*, i mean defend me anytime he wants. ;)

Cesc Fabregas, Spain.
The young spanish who has the killer smile.
Ohh god, look at that face (below).
SUPER ADORABLE!

Fernando Torres, Spain.
Isn't it funny that most of the cute ones come from Spain.
Baby face Torres.
I LOVE HE'S INNOCENCE! :)

Lionel Messi, Argentina.
He's so small and adorable.
I wanna bring him around with me, in my pocket.
A natural goal scorer and he's cute at what he does.

Lucas Podolski, Germany.
Germany was the most hated country in the world due to Hitler, but they have my support now.
I can't spell CUTE without U, Lucas.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!
CORNY!

i fall for a silly boy.

2010-05-16T22:04:00.005+08:00

It seems you only want what you can`t have. That ego's turning. Just too bad for you, that when you had me and you didn't know what to do. Cause you had a good girl, that's a keeper. You had a good girl, but didn't know how to treat her, so silly boy get out my face. Why do you like the way regrets taste?

I'm on a constant battle. Battle against enemies that i love so much. Yes, the irony kills me. Thoughts would run through my head and I'm on the run throughout the whole time. I want to live a normal life, who doesn't right, but I'm on a constant denial stage, where I keep think negatively. As for my enemies, they are living in denial and they don't realise how much they hurt me in the process. How much they hurt the family in the end. Those are the questions that don't run through their head, but instead, they run through mine.

".. can you don't talk like this, its irritating."

I'm sorry if it does, but I'm going through a hard time. Its not something that I would just forget, cause it involves my life and family. The family that I love so much. If you're not happy with my voice, then stay away. It doesn't matter with me. For once I don't wanna run to you, for comfort.

They say every tear has it's reasons. Every smile has it's own season. I was blinded.

You make me wanna - BLUE

2010-05-16T02:04:00.000+08:00

O Town - All Or Nothing

2010-05-16T01:55:00.002+08:00

Other things may change us, but we start and end with family.

2010-05-16T00:21:00.008+08:00

Aisyah Latiff, also known as "SYAH-BULLBULL".

3rd granddaughter, 8th grandchild out of 21.

I grew up in a family orientated background. My family means everything to me, and everyone is close. My grandmother (above) kept the family together. We lived our lives as such, for her. But recently, things just ain't the same anymore. Father's losing the respect of their offsprings, husband's behaving abusively towards wife and kids and etc. I don't talk much about my family, but from the pictures I usually capture, it has no such evidence in them to suspect that something was going on. It hurts me to know that things will never be the same no more.

As i sat there, hoping that things will be settled just now, my eyes kept tearing up as i watch my younger cousins playing happily together. They were so innocent. They didnt know what was going on. All they knew was, that we were having another family gathering.

All i want, is my family back. PERIOD.

we serve ignorant citizens on a daily basis.

2010-05-15T01:51:00.005+08:00

you make me HATE you.

2010-05-14T23:57:00.004+08:00

Its almost 6years.

6years of endless heartaches, laughter and love.

But the thing i HATE about you is you're anger.

The thing that bugs me the most would be the way you answer my questions.

I didn't intend to piss myself off whenever i do ask you a question.

But somehow, whenever it comes to you, i do flame up.

I don't know what is you're problem.

If you're tired then stay away.

If you're sick and tired of my question then tell me.

I wouldn't bother you.

I hate coming back home, feeling pissed off.

Please get it into your head.

I have enough irritating, ignorant and rude customers to deal with.

I don't need another one in my life.

So.. I hope you get the message.

Cause now, I'm not bothered to ask or know anything.

I have reached a point in my life where anger is not a friend.

I seek for peace.

I'm sick and tired of getting angry, for all the dumbest reasons.

Its time to grow up.

You're going in soon, and I don't want to spent our days fighting.

What do i gain from this?

Nothing. EXACTLY.

It doesn't make me miss you or love you more.

I don't need this in my life, right now..

I really don't.

SORRY.

2010-05-04T23:20:00.003+08:00

i want the shit to go away.

Woke up in a mess. My whole world was upside down. My mom was screaming at me, for something i don't even know what. My brothers were banging on the door like hooligans and my dad was calling, even when he knew that i was asleep. The only things i hear today, was screaming, shouting, banging, yelling. It feels like i'm in prison or something. Okay, i don't know how prison is but i bet its quieter then here.

Had my lunch/breakfast infront of the tv. Even starhub had to piss me off. They changed all the channel numbers, and i forgot about it. Kept pressing 20 for MTV, and it kept giving this message that pissed the shit out of me. I know i should be feeling embarassed right now, but im not. I'm so pissed. Why must you even change the bloody channel numbers?! why! What for? Now i have to memorize all the numbers again. ARGGGGHHHH!

Went to my grandma's house around 6, to sent her some food. That was the only time, i felt relaxed. I was away from stress. But then public transport and weather had to ruin it all. ARGGHH!!

I don't expect anyone to understand. I just finished my projects and im currently in a dilemma. I need to get my life back on track. Everything is complicated now. My sleeping patterns are different and my attitude towards certain things are different. I don't expect anyone to understand the state i am in, but at least give me the chance to get myself back on my feet. That is all i what/need.

i don't expect you to understand.

we fight over the smallest things.

i hate it.

my temper is on the shortest fuse, and i'm trying to remain calm.

im not saying that you are always trying to find fault with me.

but somehow we always have something to fight about something.

so now, i dont know what to do anymore.

im numb.

im lost.

for once in my life, about you.

ISP 2B - IKEA

2010-05-03T02:44:00.005+08:00

My ISP 2B Finalized Work - IKEA

It felt like it was forever, but it was actually only for 3 weeks. The stress and sleepless night that i went through better pay off. This is the thing i have been working so hard for. This is the thing that i have been busy for. The social life, the burning of night oil, the stressful moments and breakdowns were put into this. I'm proud to say i pulled through, but it wasnt possible without the help of my closest friends, GRACE, my family and AMRIT for being so patient with me. After tomorrow and wednesday, it can only mean one thing, and that is PARTY! POST ISP PARTY, here i come! :)

hell just ain't the same.

2010-05-02T19:19:00.006+08:00

don't let my innocence fool you.

its over. and when i say over, i really mean its OVER! :) i have never felt this happy before, okay, maybe there were a few times when i was this happy but somehow this ISP, was more worked up for me. from the last minute changes to the emotional breakdown, everything worked out fine in the end. now just checking through everything, making sure i have everything. i will upload the pictures soon, together with the bbq stay-over from last night. So many pictures, so little time. or maybe.. i shall upload them now. YES, I SHOULD. :D

we fight.

over everything and anything.

i don't know if im strong enough for this no more.

im emotional deprived.

i lack the strength i use to have so i might not seem that interested.

but one thing i know for sure,

we are not making it easier for each other.

i, aisyah latiff, suffer from SLEEPING DISORDER.

2010-04-27T04:38:00.005+08:00

i think too much.

i started the day on a good note.

had lunch with grace at pastamania, but after that..

everything just went on a downfall.

firstly, why in the hell didnt i bring my laptop?

i could have done alot of things, with it.

i just practically sat there while everyone was doing something.

felt like a bloody fool.

someone of them told me to do some sketches, i tried, but nothing was inspiring.

so in the end, i decided to head back home.

secondly, i think i have a sleeping disorder.

its scary.

especially if i was on the train (circle line).

it takes me less then 5minutes to doze off.

im dead serious about this.

that day, i almost miss my stop, thank god i realised where i was.

just now, was on the train with ben, and i dozed off, almost leaning on this malay lady.

ben was totally laughing.

he said, "i should have videotaped what you just did"

SHIT!

so embarrassing! :(

i didnt dare to look at the makcik after that.

i practically make myself look like a total dumb ass in public.

i'm soooooo going to get my beauty sleep once ISP is over.

not forgetting..

my holidays start next week.

end of YEAR2 for AISYAH!

YES!

SHANGHAI HERE I COME!

:)))