you said move on (where do i go)

title:
date: Saturday, December 30, 2006
time:7:14 PM

I'm back again. The total nutcase! Back with the same problem as usual. We have not spoken for 2 days already and i guess he is fine with it. I was told that he lost his phone. So now i have to contact him thru' his hse phone. I don knw why but he should knw that he is neve at home & how in the hell am i suppose to call him! Is he going to carry his hse phone with him always. Hais. I'm so stressed! Thinking of ways to get over the fight and ways to just relax. My relationship is not perfect, I KNOW! But why do ppl say that i am the luckiest gal ever to have a relationship that is goin so well for me. But in thru fact! We do fight! And it can be NASTY! Words flying all over the place! Trying not hurt the other party's feeling is hard but i try too. But sometimes things don turn out the way it is suppose too.Hais. I guess i just have to live with it. Even though i MISS HIM DEARLY, he will neve get to knw. I just hope he is fine & his not doing anything stupid! And he better get himself a NEW PHONE FAST!! Today IRFAN(my baby cousin) bought his first pair of shoes. He was so excited. His mom bought for him a new sandal from Riders and a PUMA shoe. Not bad for a 10 month baby. He has a puma shoe. It was a really cute shoe. Black with the puma sign at the side. He'll wear it for hari raya haji tml and he will be the talk of the whole town! Cool kid with a cool ATTITUDE! HAHA! Anyway, 2morrow is Hari Raya Haji. Lots of things are ready and i cant wait. Even though we don really do much on this day but we still get to meet my big family. I miss them. I hope they miss me! haha! There will be food, food and more food for everyone. But the person that i miss the most is definitely my Grandfather! He was the reason why hari raya haji was so fun. Without him here, its just not the same. Hais. You just do anything to bring him home or even back to earth. All i knw is that he is up there watching upon us. I hope he is happy. :)

title:
date: Friday, December 29, 2006
time:1:14 PM

Why does he do this to me? I never meant to fight with him. Why cant he see that? He gets angry just bcox i sound different! What bullshit! Hais. I was having a bad day. I only wanted to talk to him cox i missed him but he didnt knw that. I thought he would the one who would cheer me up but i was wrong! He made my day worst then ever! Thanks! You sure did RUIN MY DAY! I dont even knw if i want to call you for this whole holiday. I guess i can wait till school starts then i will talk to you! I just don wan the 2 of us fighting like small childs. Both of us think that we at fault but we neve seem to understand each others feelings. At least, i knw where my limits are but You didn't!!! You said everything that came to your mind but neve thought abt my feelings. Wow! Great right! THANKS ONCE AGAIN! AARRGGHHHHH!!! Kill me somebody! I don wan to be here anymore! Stab me, kick me, throw me down the window. Do anything that will get rid of the pain! I realli hate fighting with you! I really do! So if i have done anything that has cause you to be like this then I'M SORRY!

NOW JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

title:
date: Thursday, December 28, 2006
time:4:28 PM

I cant wait to get back to school. I just donnt know why? Maybe i just miss being among my friends & teachers. I just cant wait to start a new year & a new life. I just want to get out of this house and be surrounded with the people outside of my 4 room house. It is really not that fun being in a house for a whole week. Douing nothing but watch tv and sleep. Plus the rain adding to the boredness. Nothing can be interesting when being at home. Hais. What can i do? I have tooo... I cant go anywhere. So just stay home. Calling people is the only way i get to talk to my frens and even find out what is really happening in the outside world. All those of you reading this must be wondering if im stuck in a house or a jail right? Well, i guess, it has to be both! My life is just made to be like that. So if any of you, keeping on complaining that you are dying of boredness or just cant take being at home for even a day. Just remember ME! Appreciate what you get guys. At least you have a Life! :)

title:
date: Saturday, December 23, 2006
time:2:47 PM

Hurraaayyyy!!

My daddy is not home.

Onli me & my mom. It is so quiet.

My bro is having his silat camp at sembawang too...

Freedom!

Peace! :)

But it is still not wat i wan.

I wan to GO OUT!

Hais.

I went out yesterday but it was to J8.

Better then nothing rite...

My father is in a really good mood and he bought for everyone a lot of stuff..

It was as if, we were celebrating christmas too...

My lil' bro bought for himself a new pair of jeans and two long-sleeve shirts...

from BOSSINI KIDS!

He looked cute.

There was a 50% discount so it was quite cheap for childs clothing!

As for me..

I bought for myself a new bag for skool.

It is from ZINC.

It is really cute.

Pure white.

A new year & a new beginning.

The most important year of my secondary school life.

Must do well.

It does not matter wat my uncles say abt me.

I don care.

So wat if i am from the NA stream.

I'm smart.

I will do well for my O 'LEVELS!

I can promise & even swear it.

I've gone too far.

Sacrificed too much for a better life.

So watch out everyone...

There is a New Aisyah in town! :)

I'm not trying to sound cocky or over-confident..

But i am believeing in myself.

Alot of ppl fall without even trying.

Haha!

That is true.

So true!

to shima - really sorry i cant go for the class bbq today. hope u are having fun there. really cant wait to see u next year. a new class. a new year & a new beginning to set our lifes straight. promise to help u along the way. behave yourself for these holidays... haha! :) congrats on passing ur Ugama exam!

to kasmi - it is definitely a long time since we have even seen each other. hope u are doing well. well.. cant wait to talk to you to find out new things. alot to talk abt next year.

to baby diana - i knw it is hard for u rite now but u should neve blame yourself so much okiie. everyone is behind u all the way and we will be there for u thru' out ur life. nothing can take us apart. jus take things one step at a time and see where fate brings u. miss yea!

to my darling' - even though we have jus met 2 days ago.. i still miss you. nothing can take you away from me. my heart is for u and onli YOU! I love yea! Happy 2 years and 4 months Anniversary! :)

title:
date: Thursday, December 21, 2006
time:6:05 PM

December is the worst month ever to organise a bbq.

hais.

i cant believe it.

My netball bbq was ruined bcox of the stupid RAIN.

It was horrible & wet!

Let me tell u wat we did at east coast.

we took the bus 13 and arrived at the beach about an hr later.

it was a long journey and my team has been praying for the rain to stop.

But... It did not stop!

We went to look for our pit..

it was Damn far...

But the rain could not ruin our day...

Me, ros, nurul and renuka decided to go for a walk down the beach but the rain got to strong..

In the end...

we went to cikgu faza's hse for the bbq.

we watched eye 10 again and shrek 2

then we went to bbq outside her hse..

her husband even ordered pizza for us.. so nice of him...

we had more fun then at the beach...

we laughed and played and joked..

don talk abt the the gossiping..

haha

As for someone...

if u still wan to be part of tis team..

u better be there wif us.

or not..

u will loose everything.

i cant take you anymore

so many excuses.

it is enough out of u!

watever u wan to say...

jus keep it in ur head!

aha!!!

title:
date: Wednesday, December 20, 2006
time:4:13 PM

Happy Birthday Sayang, Amrit! :)

Love yea!

title:
date: Tuesday, December 19, 2006
time:8:18 AM

I GOT 8 POINTS FOR MY 'N' LEVEL! WOAH!

I cant believe it. The wait is finally over. I don't have to worry anymore cause i have a comfirmed spot for next year. Now is where reality starts and no more fooling around. To all my frens who made it wif me to sec 5, CONGRATS! But all those who did not, pls don give up in life. Stay strong and plan for ur next step.

I will miss u guys! :(

Life is not the same anymore when i am at home. Alone. Stressed. Frustrated. Nothing seems rite anymore. Not being able to go out and enjoy myself. It is a life tt not all teens, nowadays, should face. THEY think tt i am still their small lil gal. They neve wan to let me go. Releasing me to the world must be damn scary for them! hais. nothing is perfect! and neither is my life!!