you said move on (where do i go)

title:
date: Thursday, May 28, 2009
time:10:32 PM

Honestly, it was the worst defence MANUTD has ever had. FOOLISH!

They have not called back. No word since Monday. Its irritating me. I know my other friends are getting agitated too, but be patient guys. I will try to get her to confirm everything soon. I PROMISE..

I may sound corny now but i just have to say.. I MISS YOU. It has been about a week since we last meet, and it seems like forever. I was sitting at my table, staring at his picture, in my wallet. It felt weird doing that but that is all I could do for now. I guess it doesn't get any easier then this. Days past and its getting nearer to the day when my father will know who has been keeping me in place, keeping the biggest smile on my face and responsible for all those tears I cry every night. My cousin seems to have more confidence in my situation then me. He says every father has a soft side for his daughter, but I somehow disagree with that statement. But whatever happens, we're going to make it work right?

title:
date: Wednesday, May 27, 2009
time:10:35 PM

The much anticipated showdown of the year is just hours away. I have not felt this excited since the last Champions League. I'm actually sitting here, updating my pathetic blog, with my Man Utd jersey on, PRAYING for a victories night. Fingers crossed now!

I had a good day, besides the occasional family drama. It's getting rather irritating to know that my "use-to-be-happy" family, is facing so many problems, just because of an aunt who doesn't see eye-to-eye with the rest of the family. It's not that I hate her, but it gets really irritating when my grandmother calls and starts worrying about the upcoming wedding. Leave my cousin in peace, people! Its his BIG DAY!

I was sitting on my bed last night, thinking about the amount of tears i cried for the past few days. We didn't see eye-to-eye last night and it pissed the life out my me. Every word i said was used against me. Answers I gave was not accepted and somehow it was my fault. All i know right now is, i'm numb. I STILL LOVE YOU THO'. This is what i wanna say to you. This is what i feel right now.

You’re everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could’ve been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that?

You’re the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I’d love to not forgive
And though you break my heart, you’re the only one
And though there are times when I hate you
Cause I can’t erase
The times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you
It pains me to say
I know I’ll be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl
I’m no broken-hearted girl

Something that I feel I need to say
But up to now I’ve always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I want to put this out
You say you’ve got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you’re not deserving me
And still you’re in my heart
But you’re the only one and yes
There are times when I hate you
But I don’t complain
Cause I’ve been afraid that you would've walk away
Oh but now I don’t hate you
I’m happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl

Now I’m at a place I thought I’d never be
I’m living in a world that’s all about you and me
Ain't gotta be afraid my broken heart is free
To spread my wings and fly away
Away With you
YEAH.

I don’t wanna be without my baby
I don’t wanna a broken heart
Don’t want to take a breath with out my baby
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way
I don’t want a broken heart
I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl. NO
No broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl No…no…
No broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl

title:
date: Tuesday, May 26, 2009
time:4:00 PM

Why would you wanna change me, arrange me.
Is that what you call love?
Maybe you need somebody different.
Somebody who fits you like a glove.
But don't change everything that you love.

About me when you know that I love you.

THANKGOD for the rain, people. The heat was starting to get to me. Today is another boring day. Since I've finished the whole twilight saga, I'm trying to find another series of books that will boost my reading appetite. I guess whatever he said about me turning into a bookworm, is true..

I caught up with one of my old friends from Australia. He came back, with his dad, for some urgent reasons and before going off today, he came over my place for dinner. Ameer has not changed abit since the last time i saw him. Really miss his lame-ness. The whole family was laughing at his jokes. He invited me over to his house in Melbourne, but I just laughed back. AISYAH going to Melbourne seems like a good idea right now, but I declined. Thanks anyway AMEER..

My dad is still insisting that I should have tried getting a job at SHOP&SAVE, that is opening soon. I don't remember how many times I told him, I'm not interested but it doesn't seem to get that into his head. He seems to have a kick at it, making it into a normal routine. His more concern of my travelling fare and bla bla bla. Maybe he forgot I have concession.

As for HIM.. He is no where to be found. I guess whatever he said about not caring about the things I do from now on, he meant it. If he thinks that's the best thing right now then go on. I'm not going to bother him with my un-necessary problems. I guess my pathetic, boring life got to him. As long as his happy, then I'm fine with it. But as for me.. I'll just figure out something to do, to make time pass-by faster without the occasional "thinking of him".

title:
date: Monday, May 25, 2009
time:11:20 PM

I got the job with Esprit. i went to the interview at Boon Keng with Aishah, Sha and Yo. it was a long wait but worth every bit. after the whole interview, we went for a quick bite at Marina Sq. i guess that's all i did for the whole day. pretty pathetic right..

every night i go to sleep with tears in my eyes. thinking about those happy times i had. times when the sky was the limit. but it seems like.. the sky was somewhere i have been in, for far too long. i guess after sometime, they try to change you. but whyy must i meet you, fall deeply in love with you. so what's the problem now. i guess everything you loved before, you don't love no more. everything i did for you, you don't want no more. maybe i'm not quite the person your looking for.. would you agree with me?

title:
date: Tuesday, May 19, 2009
time:9:05 PM

life is pretty pathetic for me right now.
nothing productive has been done for the past few weeks since my holiday.
some of my very lucky friends, found work.
as for me, still nothing.
i get really frustrated knowing that the things i planned during the last few days of school, is not happening.
its really pathetic, AISYAH!

now im feeling the pinch.
the pinch of reality.
FUCK IT!

title:
date: Friday, May 15, 2009
time:1:44 PM

WOW. I have been missing for such a long time. Nothing much has been happening. Been home since forever, cause no one seems to ask me out. I've been catching up on the twilight saga. I can finally complete new moon, which i have. Im currently half way thru on eclipse. It feels weird to be home with my family for most of the time, cause during school days, im usually out most of the time.

Besides that.. not else has been interesting in my life. Normal fights and laughter. More sleep less outing. That's all. I know.. Boring life. :D

I MISS YOU GUYS!

title:
date: Saturday, May 09, 2009
time:12:00 AM

ISP is over.

it has been an emotional rollacoaster for me, the past 2 weeks. throughout the whole 2 weeks, nothing i did made sense. i think i pissed off more people, within this 2 weeks, then in my whole life. right now.. i guess i just have to let things settle down i guess. wat im trying to say is.. i rather be alone then piss someone off.

title:
date: Tuesday, May 05, 2009
time:9:31 PM

I've lost myself in stress and anger.

title:
date:
time:12:50 AM

I have been doing my project for the past 3 weeks and nothing seems to be done. My life is not exactly full of excitement nor happiness. For the first time in my life, i rather keep my pain to myself. I may breakdown soon but who cares right! Im at a point in my life, where i don't seem to have answers for anything. I'm speechless. Nothing i do seems to help me out. Nothing i say seems to go into anyone's head. I guess what im trying to say, im not depending on anyone anymore. I guess they have their life's as well, so i rather not bother them..

FYI, the things that happened, is still fresh in my mind.