you said move on (where do i go)

title:
date: Thursday, August 28, 2008
time:8:59 PM

Fasting Month Is Almost Here!

i cant believe that its time to begin with fasting month again and not long from now, its going to be Hari Raya. i cant wait for the day to arrive. More food and kuih! i think this year, my fasting month will past by very fast cause i'm always so busy with school work. so i'm using that as my distraction.

this year, i'm definitely going to buka puasa with my friends. don care from nafa or kcp. i want to go with both if possible.

today was a very slack day, just like yesterday. don know why the teachers are taking their time. They did a fast lecture and then dismissed us after doing a quick brief about our new assignments. didnt really go home after class. when to the national library with sha to do some research then went off to bugis junction. then i went home. we laughed so much today. we were talking about our experiences with flashers.(actually it was her experiences) hahaha. all her stories when damn funny.

the weekend is almost here and i cant wait. more time to sleep but not relax. cause my assignments are plying up on my table and i don knw where to start at all. really need some help but no one is there. cant expect people to help me at this stage of my life.

my parents have been helping me find a good model camera for my school. they went window shopping and they found out that there is a convention at suntec city starting from today. maybe i'll go down with sha. if not then i'll ask shima to tag along, since she also wants to use the camera. hahaha.

meeting my bf tmr. after such a long time, cant wait to spent some time with him alone. really need a hug. only a hug. ;)

title:
date: Wednesday, August 27, 2008
time:8:13 PM

I love my boyfriend! ;)

Today's classes were really slacked. All my teachers did whatever they had to and leave the rest of the time for us to do whatever we wanted. Armando's class was interesting. He had a look at all of our week 6 homework and gave us our grades. Mine was among the best but only get C. So sad man! But i enjoyed his class alot. The next homework, we are suppose to draw something that describes what we had for dinner the previous night. Don't know what to draw but thinking.

As for my photography homework, it was slack as well. But i was pissed at her for marking me late just because i was late for 2 minutes. Stupid! But she was impressed with the pictures i took for this week. More mature and experience she said. She gave me a 75/100 while my overall grade for 6 weeks was a C. Good enough but i can do better. I don't really care what people think but as along i see that i'm passing and improving then i'm happy.

can't wait to go shooting with shima. i know she can't wait! haha! Asked around and everyone said that Funan is the best place to purchase a nikon 60D. more reliable and cheap. But don't know when my dad wants to get it for me. Who wants to follow me camera shopping? shima maybe?

I still have so many things to do. So many homework, projects and assessments to complete. No time to go out with my friends at all and i don't even know if i can go back to secondary school for teacher's day celebration. hais. this is my life!

ok ok. i cant just keep bragging here cause i have plenty of work left to do and so little time. see u guys around! take care!

will you love me till the end of time?

title:
date: Tuesday, August 26, 2008
time:4:01 PM

An apple a day keeps the STUPID doctor away!

Went to the polyclinic with amrit today. I wasnt feeling very well when i woke up in the morning. Didnt go to school either so i terpaksa go and get MC for today. I didnt have to wait long at the polyclinic as it was almost kunch break so i guess i was the last patient for the afternoon. I waited about 45mins but the stupid indian doctor only took 5 minutes to see me. Stupid right? Just because he wanted to go for lunch, he decide to do a fast one.

Anyway, doctor said i had throat infection and flu. at first he thought i was smoking but in the end he said it was common for non-smoker to get throat infection too.

Before going home, amrit teman me to some shops to buy toiletries for myself and my mom and, went to ntuc extra to buy some food for my brothers. he was nice enough to carry my stuff. haha.

feeling kinda boring right now. not use to staying home during the weekdays doing nothing but resting. i should be in school right now, doing my work. i miss my classmates. i know they miss me too cause they msg me just now! hahaha!

title:
date:
time:12:26 AM

I need you to think about me.

You work and work but you forget about me.

I want to talk to you.

Hear your voice but your too tired!

I stayed up yesterday and today just to see if you would call me but u didnt.

But you didnt know that, did you?

title:
date: Monday, August 25, 2008
time:9:03 PM

How do you make the other party understand you better?

I hate the feeling of empty-ness and loneliness. I sleep with those feelings in my head and it affects me slowly. I try to talk it out but there isnt anyone to listen to me. People are busy with their daily work and maybe, just maybe they dont even care. why cant life be the same as the old days?

I just dont want to fight with him anymore. i hate it when i start blaming ppl or start fuming up for no reason. i just don know what he wants from me anymore. I love him to the core but where is this going to?

i hate my life right now. nothing is making sense and i don have ppl to talk too anymore.

i know you think the decision i make is stupid.

so do i but there isnt any other way left.

i love you so much.

i just don knw what to do anymore.

i want to talk to you all night.

i don care if i don sleep.

nor eat.

but all i know is that...

i need to talk to you everyday.

title:
date: Sunday, August 24, 2008
time:7:17 PM

My sacrifices are never taken under consideration!

I hate the feeling of not being understood. The sacrifices I took for his ass just doesnt seem important to him anymore. I hate it. You think, your the only one that made sacrifices for this relationship!

If that is how you decide to take it then maybe, just maybe, i shouldnt make sacrifices anymore. I just hate it when you... nevermind!

I know your mother is making a fuss about your phone bill and stuff right? So from now on, you dont have to call me in the night. We should just msg. If not then nevemind la. I'll just sacrifice for you again. i hate it when we fight in the middle of the night cause then i'll be alone. all alone to settle my problems.

So ya, amrit. when you read this then, hopefully by then, you'll understand. so..... see u around...

" life is never nice to me.

people dont seem t understand the things i do for them.

things that i do and sacrifice for them.

now..

i sacrifice my talktime for you.

hope your happy.

use that time to sleep.

use that time to do whatever you need to do.

don worry about me....

i'll think of something.. for myself.. "

- aisyah

title:
date: Saturday, August 23, 2008
time:9:01 PM

i need a hug amrit! :(

title:
date: Friday, August 22, 2008
time:11:13 PM

Time has passed and still i love you sweetheart!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABY!

Had a long day today but things were ok. Went out for shooting also before class started and i'm getting quite good at this photography shit. Friday's classes are always the best. Very fun&energetic! We had to form into groups of 5 and take pictures that best describes different words. It was a really cool and fun project and things ended up kind of 'dirty' in the end. Our teacher really enjoy teaching our class as we are really energetic and too friendly! I'll upload the pictures once i get them and show you guys the amount of fun we are having.

I have a few pictures that i took for my previous assessment and it was not bad. Not the normal pictures we always take with shima's camera but with more techniques. I don knw what that means but it sounds very professional, doesn't it. Those pictures on the top are those i took for my first assessment! Nice?

My anniversary was very boring today but i understand that he had to work and i had extra things to do anyway. Really miss him alot today! Thanks dee for the sweet message on your blog! He was really sweet yesterday. He wished me at midnight with a sweet message!

' HEY SYG! Finally its 4 years!

I know this year has been tough for us but we still pulled thru!

I will try my best to keep you happy always k!

thanks for always being there all these times and i really appreciate you so much!

And sorry for all the times i hurt you.

I really didnt mean it.

Anyway, happy 4year anni syg!!!!

Love you so much and miss u!!!!!!!!

(stil a long way to go before we get married k! :( )

really sweet. he made me cry yesterday and i realise how much this day really means to me! hahaha!

spent my remaining time with shima and wati today. we went shopping for shima's swimming suit. she wants to start swimming again and that actually sounds like a good idea. maybe i would decide to join her for swimming too. haha. can shima? but before tt i got to get for myself one of the shirts from sun paradise too.

oh ya... wanted to share with you guys a video from youtube that is damn funny! i was lol in class with my classmates. so do check it out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KXviPd0fRA

title:
date: Thursday, August 21, 2008
time:8:53 PM

I'm So Paranoid!

I have finally made a police report against the guy that keeps calling me. It took me one hour to finish the report at the police station and the investigator for my case just called me. He said he called the numbers that i gave him and the person denied calling me at all. Such an asshole!

But anyway, I still feel paranoid. I had a hard time walking to the mrt station this morning. Ever indian guy that looks or stare at me, I feel this chill go down my spine. My bf thinks i'm thinking too much but i cant help it. This guy could know who i am, where i stay and stuff...

My bf doesnt understand how it feels like. But anyway, i feel abit better now. I know my bf will get pissed once reading this. hahahhaa. cant help myself.

I want to wish myself&amrit...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US TMR!

I cant believe it that 4 years have past and more are on the way.

all the tears we shed and all the time we sacrificed for each other is so worth it.

Nothing is worth more then our love and i hope that we go far.. (really far)

I know i can be such a nuisance at times but i think you should be used to it.

Life is not fair right!

hahahaa!

I stil remember the times you would be so nervous and shy to talk to me.

You would always keep quiet when it comes to me and even if you had something to say...

nothing nice comes out.

i hated you so much in primary school but now i love you.

do you still remember the time when we just started.

You were so shy towards. (actually me too)

hahaha!

but now...

you cant shut up when your with me.

I love you alot babe!

do YOU love me too?

title:
date: Wednesday, August 20, 2008
time:8:49 PM

Have you ever woken up from your sleep and cry the night away?

Not because your scared of your nightmares but because of life.

Does life scare you the same way as it does for me.

I don't know what is happening to me but i assume its stress. I cant sleep nor go to the rest room,

without

thinking about my life.

I hate this feeling but i cant help but feel this way.

I cant even find time to pamper myself nor to just laugh.

I have so many things on my mind that it affects the person that i am.

I think i shouldn't blame my school work but myself.

I dont seem to be able to manage things properly.

I guess that is my weakness but life has to go on.

'Life is not complete without struggles, neither is it complete without love'

While typing all this sensitive stuff, I just remembered about my anniversary.

Its this Friday 22thAUGUST08

I cant believe that time fly's by so fast.

I'm happy (OF COURSE)

But the future scares me now.

I cant control the future.

Going this far is such a risk but i'm willing to take this risk with him.

Have you ever loved someone so much that it kills you to hurt him/

her?

If you have then you would know what i mean.

No matter how much i hate him sometimes, his still the one that i want to live and

die with.

We fight often now but isnt it part of being in a relationship.

I love him and no one can stop me.

OHMYGOD!

This post is so touchy!

HAHAHAHA!

Anyway...

Happy Anniversary In Advance DEE&AHTANK!

title:
date: Friday, August 15, 2008
time:9:39 PM

hey people.

i'm back.

its been a long time since i last updated so now i'm doing it again.

just came back from his house.

spent the whole afternoon there, just to relax and de-stress.

had a bad and harsh week.

many assignments and projects coming up and i dont know if i can keep up with the work load and date line.

its not been easy even as it is only the first year.

but i'm hanging on.

this week i had an emotional breakdown.

i had to let it out N the person that had to bear with it was him.

for no particular reason, he was being scolded by me.

but thank god he was there if not i would have definitely gone crazy.

the thing that has been on my nerves was this person that keeps calling my phone.

i dont know wat he wants from me.

i told him he got the wrong no but he doesnt agree with me.

i get so frustrated cause he doesnt call only once but seven times a day.

such an ass.

but i got scared when he said he knows me.

i just dont want to figure out that he really does knw who am i.

but overall, my week was only ok.

nothing special.

nothing interesting.

nothing to look forward too.

no money man!!!!

HAPPY BELATED 18TH BIRTHDAY SHIMA!

NEXT IS KASMI'S TURN!

MY FRIENDS ARE GROWING UP SO FAST!

title:
date: Saturday, August 09, 2008
time:10:58 PM

life doesnt seem to be the same.

two separate worlds.

two separate dreams.

two separate personalites.

but

one love.

i hate the feeling of being left alone.

have u ever hugged someone and realise that it was real&true?

have u ever looked at someone in the eyes and just get lost?

i have.

that is how bad i have fallen in love with him.

i wan him to be by my side all day.

but

people forbid it.

you will always be my baby.

always.

but.....

my life is not the same anymore.

i don dare tell him that i'm scared.

i'm scared that things wont be the same.

i'm scared to say my feelings cause of the past.

he knows wat i mean.

i keep them all inside.

waiting for a time to pour them out.

i lie to myself everyday..

saying that things will be ok but its nt.

so many things he doesnt knw.

and i just dont know wat to do with it.

someone help me before i drown in my own feelings..

i cry myself to sleep hoping that i'll feel better the next day.

even this he doesnt knw.

i'm tempted to do many other forbiding things but...

can he help me?

can he?

but how will he knw if i don tell him anything?

oh how i wish i could..

title:
date:
time:5:03 PM

hey.
i know i have been missing for a long time and i'm sorry abt it.
been really busy with school and homework. tried to update wif my laptop but something happened to it. new but spoilt alread.

i was hanging out with my bf yesterday and even he complained that i must update my blog. poor people. waiting for my wise words. hahahha. anyway, school is getting really stressful. more assignments, more projects and more teachers getting on your nerves. just like my photography teacher.

its a long story abt wat happened to me and her but i'll try to shorten it up. she is the most irritating, insensetive and 'goblok' (stupid in indonesian) teacher that i have ever met. she keeps givng homework that requires us to do research to search for photos. so one day i emailed her, asking for a few more days extra so that i could get everything in place. she said that if i had a good reason then it could be ok. so ok. i explained but she didnt get back to me. nevemind. everyone in my class also had trouble with her work so everyone also asked for extra time.

she said no so everyone had to do her work in the end. stayed up till 2.30am just to finish her work and i fell asleep on my table. the next day was her class and we were ready for her class but she came to class saying that she wanted to have a long talk wif us. she complained that we were taking her lessons lightly. then.... she turned her attention to me. she said..

" aisyah i asked the senior teacher abt your CASE. she said it wont be fair if you had extra days so we will deduct marks from you."

wat the hell.. all i did was ask and she went to the senior teacher just to ask. i so wanted to asnwer back to her but it wouldnt be good if a teacher had her eyes on me. so irritating! in the end, thru out her lesson, i gave her the meanest look that i could do and she told me to leave the past and concentrate. i was so pissed. the best thing was, on the day, i had finished everything and didnt need anymore days extra but she didnt knw. how dare she say that i neglected her work. GOBLOK!

ANYWAY... spent time with my bf yesterday at his house. his father was at home and i was so scared! i swear i was about to pee in my pants when i said hi to him. i was so scared. but i managed to say hi and bye. HAHAHAHAHA. all because of my bf forcing me. but it was ok. had fun in his house. he made me laugh and we had lunch/dinner together at his house too. it was nice to spent sometime just being me again and forget about my 'goblok' teacher and school.

i miss everyone from my sec school. i really need to spent time with them. oh ya, are u guys going back to school for teacher's day? :)