you said move on (where do i go)

title:
date: Friday, February 29, 2008
time:4:27 AM

hey.
just came back from school (kcpss).
had to meet ms quek cos she's helping me with the DPA application.
really happy that there was someone there to help me thru my hard times. i went looking around the room, just like the old times. the room is still the same. messy as ever.
i found kasmi's and shima's o level works. its right infront of the first table. haha. well, i applied for REPUBLIC POLY. I was given choices like sports & leisure mngt, sports and exercises sciences and outdoor and adventure learning. quite interesting courses. well, i REALLY hope that i would get one of the courses cos i cant be too fussy about the choices.

didnt do alot of stuff. still the same things. visiting my grandma and today, i have tuition. i have lots of things to teach this girl but this girl has been too comfortable with me. she rather sit there and talk to me about stupid stuff. really need to find ways to connect with this girl and get her to do well.

oh ya, when i went to school just now, i met big ass chng. the 2 of us were looking at each other but neither of us approached each other. i just walked away. why should i talked to people that dont appreciate what i did for her. she is still the same. thinks she's the hottest teacher in campus and thinks she can win the IRON WOMEN AWARD! hahahahaha. i have not met syg for sometime already. his busy with his dearest computer and i'm caught up with my grandma. really hard trying to get the 2 of us together. i just hope his fine.

title:
date: Thursday, February 28, 2008
time:5:37 AM

hey.
have been spending alot of time in the hospital just making sure that she is fine.
she will be fine, i know but sometimes you just cant help thinking what if something bad would happen. its always stuck in my head. that same old question. but overall, she is fine. my whole family is taking turns, seeing her. i told her a good news that day. that she was going to be a great-grandmother. my cousin who is in melbourne is going to be a father. that means, i'm going to be an aunty again. her eyes was fulled of joy when i told her the good news. to see her that excited just keeps me going. i really need to get out more often. being stuck at home and at the hospital is really getting into my head. the feeling of being clostophobic (sorry if i spell it wrongly) just keeps me insane. i miss all my friends.

i went to see the MP yesterday to see whether he could help me with my school-less issue. well, he sent a letter to RP yesterday and i hope i can get in. he was really nice to help me so everyone please pray that i will make it. besides being in the hospital, i have been at home watching this show called "for better or for worse". its such a sweet show. well, a couple that is planning to get married within a week has no say to how their weeding is going to be. only their closes family members are allowed to plan and decorate the venue for their wedding. how scary can that be? leaving your big day for your family to plan. each episode is interesting as it comes with a theme. its just so romantic to see the final product and to see the bride and groom having a good time. not only that, we even get to see the groom cry when he gets to see his bride for the first time. its just so sweet.

oh ya, this friday there would be a career familirization thingy at marina sq. its about our navy, army and the air force. my mom was thinking that IF i dont get a course after this DPA, i should try getting a scholarship from the army, navy or air force. well, they pay for all your school fees and also tuition. but it comes with a price. i have to pay back by being ONE OF THEM. its a good offer cause besides the scholarship, they also pay you for your contribution to the army, navy or air force. i would be paid and paid to study. it sounds like a good idea but i dont knw about the part where i have to be like them. the next thing you knw it, i would be like mr eddie lim. such an important person in the army. can you actually imagine me in a uniform with my head bold!!!! hahahahahahahahah!!!! just joking!!! i must be crazy if i were to do that! :) well, who wants to follow me to this career familization thingy? there could be alot of hot soldiers like eddie lim????? (shima i know you would be interested!)

title:
date: Tuesday, February 26, 2008
time:2:25 AM

I've been missing for sometime. Sorry about that. there has been alot of things happening in my life. first it was my school-less problem. secondly, i failed my first ever driving test. i just dont know wat went wrong. i went thru the questions twice and still i failed. so i guess, i have to re-take the test this friday. but the thing that has been on my mind every single time, my grandma got admitted into hospital. she was complaining about stomach pains. my aunty called for the ambulance and she got admitted. the next day she had to go thru an operational. that was the first time i actually waited in the hospital for someone to come out of the operation room. the wait was so unbearable.

i waited outside for about 5hrs. just waiting for the doctor to explain was so horrible. the doctor was talking doctor language that was so worried. but thank god, my grandma is ok. when she was taken out of the operation room, with so many tubes coming out of her mouth and nose, my heart just fell apart. the look on her face with those things coming out. it was so devastating for me. i waited for her to wake up in the icu. i couldn't sleep so i decided to stay there for sometime. i waited till she woke up. i just sat there beside her, holding her hand and just praying for her to wake up.

she did wake up. i was trying to control my tears. i asked her questions but she could not answer me. she could open her mouth but nothing is coming out. the tubes in her mouth was making it hard for her to talk. she became frustrated cos we could not understand her. my whole family is just hoping for her to get well, just like the last time.

title:
date: Wednesday, February 20, 2008
time:10:57 AM

i'm school-less people. can you actually believe it. aisyah latiff is school-less. she cant even get a course in even one poly. how in the hell do i get into this state? congrats to all my friends who made it. study hard k? i went all over singapore today, just trying to appeal. and not a single school wants me. the guy can somemore say, "try again next year". asshole! i just dont knw what to do la. this is not the life i wanted nor dreamt of. arghhhhh!!!! fuck! i dont feel like doing anything today. if anything just call me or msg k. bye

title:
date: Tuesday, February 19, 2008
time:3:23 AM

I'm losing everything in life. I dont think I can bare it if I really lose everything.

title:
date: Friday, February 15, 2008
time:6:26 AM

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO EVERYONE! :)

we have been together for 3yrs plus now.

I have always been looking forward to this day even after 3 years.

you have been there for me, thru thick and thin.

and never fail to surprise me with your sweet gestures.

thankQ so much for being so patient with me cos i can be a handful sometimes.

love you baby..

forever & ever babe!

as for my friends.

it looks like we dont get to celebrate valentines day together this year.

i hope you guys are celebrating it well with ur guys.

all of your guys are great.

(sham&wei en&ahtank)

i hope and pray that you guys will leave happily ever after.

and gals,

thankQ for being loyal friends.

Love you guys too.

Forever & ever babes!

title:
date: Thursday, February 14, 2008
time:2:26 AM

Tuesday is always an enjoyable day for me cos Kpak Bing Bing is on. But yesterday I was out by myself till about 8pm. I was sent to register for my driving license, by myself at SSDC. It was like the weirdest moment ever. There were so many mats and minahs, signing up for a bike license. The queue was long. I had to attend a briefing about the whole process of getting a license and then I had to wait again for my no to appear cos I missed it due to the briefing. Due to the fact that the lady could not display a previous no, she decided to shout out my no. It was so embarassing. I had to walk in front of so many people just to get to the counter. They must be wondering how come this girl get special treatment. After 15mins, I had to get my eyes checked, my payments done and book my first test. It's on the 6th of May. That is in 3mths time. MY FIRST LESSON IS IN A FEW DAYS TIME. OMG!!!! So long? Hais. Ohya, after the registration, i went to J8 for a short walk by myself. I had to get a present for the kid that i'm giving tuition. Its her b'day today and she's having a party on saturday. I bought her a necklace with the letter "L" on it. I hope she likes it. I also found something for my friends as well. I will be getting them something for Valentine's Day (i hope they get me something too!! ahahahahahaha). I hope they like it. Its not something big but something that they could remember me by. I cant wait for our outing. :)

title: I'M BACK!
date: Tuesday, February 12, 2008
time:12:09 PM

I know i have been gone for quite some time. I celebrated my 18th birthday, 3 days ago and honestly, it was the most crappiest birthday ever! I have always imagine that my 18th birthday would be like the most best day ever but it wasnt. The only thing that keep me goin was the msges from my friends and calls from my whole family. That was how bad it was. My family had this fake face on. I hate it. I missed the days when i get to celebrate my birthday in school. I get to see my friends and receive presents! haha. but its not going to be the same anymore. Presents are not really that important but just being able to spent the day with my friends would be the perfect present for my special day. That is why i left a comment on their friendster. Go and check it out! hahaha. I MISS YOU GUYS! I WANT TO GO OUT ON THE 15TH!

KASMI, NOW WE CAN REALLY GET THE BAG THAT WE WANTED TO BUY FOR SO LONG.

SHIMA, LETS GO BOWLING!

DEE, LETS GO CYCLING IN THE PARK, YOU CHOOSE?

WATI, BRING SOME OF YOUR BROWNIES LA?

AISYAH, I'LL JUST BRING MYSELF!!!!

OH YA, for dinner, those with boyfriends (sorry wati), invite them. I want to spent it with them too. That includes wei en as well ok, kasmi! As for wati, dont be sad, i'll be your one day girlfriend!!!!!! hahahahha... :) It'll be just like the old days!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Did you know that we dont have a picture together????