you said move on (where do i go)

title:
date: Thursday, October 30, 2008
time:5:54 PM

integrated studio projects.

this past 2 weeks, i have been thinking about my ISP that was due next week. nothing seems to be completed nor seems to be in the right place. i hate the feeling of not being able to complete things that i have planned for so long and its hard. i always have things ready early but i don't seem to be able to finish it on time. ARGH!

i was pissed today at gisela (photography lecturer). i know she wants people/students to respect her but you don't seem to respect them back. respect their religion and race. so what if they come from another country or look different, or even behave differently, but they are still human. you want respect but you have no respect for this kind of people. i kept quiet but i think its stupid for me to just watch this all happen infront of me.

i may belong to this race and that means, you disrespect them, you disrespect me. my mom asked me why i didnt do anything cause by allowing them to do this, will just make them continue their disgusting attitude. and she's RIGHT! so what if indians have a certain way of reacting to the other races. we are different.

everyone is different. everyone is unique in their own ways. i am half indian but that still makes me indian. don mess with INDIANS.

lets see if she decides to be funny again tmr. i will, i swear, give her a piece of my mind which i have kept aside for her a long time since the first day we met. no one has the right to continue to disturb this people. gisela, i dare you to do it again!

as you can see, my life is full of dramas. dramas that makes me a better person and makes me realise the kind of person i really am. i may not be the smartest nor the most funniest, but i tend to learn from my mistakes fast. people like gisela seem to think that the world is all hers to rule. she is wrong! its a one complete world and everyone is important.

i love my life now, no matter how tiring nor painful it is sometimes. it fulfills my life and i won't change it for anything else.

yesterday i went for a dinner date with shima and waty. it was great. had fun but shima kept on merajuking. but nvm. i still love her. hahaha. she took the most pictures and she was the one that was bullied the most. its shows how much we love her. hahaha. i know shima will say whatever or wth or wtf or i love sham only. but we still love her.

i hope waty enjoyed herself. i love your hair color waty! :)

title:
date: Tuesday, October 28, 2008
time:9:25 PM

SO WHAT ARE YOU?

AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart (Jan 20 - Feb 18) Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent.. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.

SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22 - Dec 21)

Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY WATY!

title:
date: Sunday, October 26, 2008
time:9:47 PM

my life is like an illusion.

did not productive the whole day. was too tired, bored and moody to get out of the house. my grandma seems to be sick and i need to see her soon. i miss amrit too. too many things going through my head and its not helping me through my life. i tend to look at my life as an illusion. don know why, so don ask.

stayed up early morning just to talk to amrit. he was only home at 1am so i stayed up. we were having a cute and funny conversation. throughout the whole conversation, he was sending me msgs. he send 30 over msgs just to see if i love him. he wanted me to reply but i just let him get amused at himself. he's adorable in many ways but strange at the same time.

amrit.

i love you, forever and ever.

title:
date: Friday, October 24, 2008
time:10:36 PM

to deep to feel the pain.

in his room waiting for him to get out of the shower.

"prince" of the house was having his mandi bunga.

i was bored so used his phone to take pictures.

took more then just this but deleted cause too ..... :)

i had a blast today. spent most of the day at amrit's place. i think that was the only place where i could really be myself. no problems. no lecturers. no family. all i had was him. we were watching step brothers but couldnt really concentrate cause he was always disturbing and interupting me. hated him for that. but overall, i had fun irritating him. he called me an "irrit". poor me.

i love the feeling from disturbing him. i can do whatever i wan and still he wont do anything. he was thinking of punching me but he loves me too much. i left the house without saying a word cause i didnt wan to disturb him anymore but he thought i was mad. crazy boy. but i LOVE him.

went home today, to an empty house. i was wishing for this for a long time and finally my wish came true. but it was too quiet for me after awhile. i just want my family to be the same old LATIFF'S. but somethings are just meant to be in the past. for dinner, i spent it at swenson with my mom, yusoff, irfan and my aunty. she was nice enough to belanja us. we ate like there was no tmr and it felt good to be able to sit and talk like those days.

i try to hide my pain deep down.

in a place that is far from reality and hopes.

darkness fills and all i feel is numbness.

nothing feels right nor does it feel the same anymore.

fears run through my head like a bullet train.

i'm losing grip.

whats happening?

i strayed from myself and this is how i really feel.

title:
date: Thursday, October 23, 2008
time:7:18 PM

FUCK IT WITH YOUR ATTITUDE.

do i look like a freaking toy to you?

i can't stand this family anymore.

nothing is the same anymore.

i can't come home from school, to "happy" people.

for that, i get fucked up and looked at weirdly.

my mom is the number one suspect.

her attitude this days is pissing me off.

the respect for her is vanishing.

your my mother but you treat me like a doll.

you think your the only one that is tired, pissed and exhausted!

PLEASE LA!

grow up.

i don't expect anything from both of you anymore.

I don't want your money nor your attention anymore.

you wan me to communicate with you but when i do so...

all i get is, "oh ok".

you expect me to tell you things.

think again!

i'm not a small kid that needs her mother to be there to safe the day.

i'm grown up to wipe my own ass.

so just fucking leave me alone.

title:
date:
time:4:54 PM

halloween is coming.

school started at 9am till 11am, but i arrived at 9.20am. bored is one thing but knowing the fact that my teacher will be very bossy and bitchy, it made me think twice abt going to class early. but anyway, when i was there, she wasnt even around. so ya. even the teacher thought the class would be a boring one today.

went for lunch after class then to vivo, where sha was looking for her dslr. so i and shantelle (sook sin) accompanied her. anyway, we wanted to go to toys r us to get some stuff for halloween. it was fun. went looking for the camera then we went window shopping. we were so happy but frustrated at the same time. we loved the stuff that we saw but money, dont have. so pissed. in the end, i bought a female snow cap that costed, $23. its cute. once in a while, treating myself is not a wrong thing.

then headed to toy r us, where we were playing with the probs. we took pictures. it was so funny. we scared each other but in the end, we had trouble trying to figure out wat we wanted to be. sha decided to be satan's child while me and shantelle were 'confused kids". meaning, we had red horns and vampire teeth's . hahaha. we were confused. we reserved the stuff first and maybe tmr, the girls will go down again to purchase them.

well... nothing much to say anyway.. like what i promised, i uploaded a few more pictures but this is not the whole lot of it. plenty more to come. but this is all i could upload for today. hope u guys like it and laugh at it.

i cant wait to meet amrit tmr.

shahrazad

ng yik fei&sean&sha

our "big" brother, sebas

sean

sha&shantelle (sook sin)

me&sha

OMG!

anak frankenstein&pumpkin head

addicted to starbucks.

addicted to cookies too.

title:
date: Wednesday, October 22, 2008
time:9:35 PM

SOMETHING IS MISSING IN MY LIFE.

The past few days has made me feel like a totally different person. I don't feel right and I don't feel like I'm in place at all. I'm missing too much of the things that are happening right infront of my eyes. I have a gut feeling that something is going to happen and the feeling doesn't seem to vanish. I think I need help. Serious help. I have never felt so insecure in my entire life. I feel like things are just going to fall apart, one by one. I hide this fear so well, that not even my own boyfriend knows about it. I have to stop this. It ruining my life, my concentrate and my strength to go on. I can't describe the fear but I feel everyday.

anyway...

SCHOOL WAS AWESOME! I had a blast. My classmates are the coolest people you would ever want to meet. Open minded, corrupted thoughts and happy-go-lucky attitude. They are the people that keeps me going. My whole class has a huge craving for the cookies sold at SEVEN ELEVEN. They say it tastes like Subway's cookies. (how would i know if its true right?) But we are all crazy about it. We can't come to class without a packet of it. And the cookies usually doesn't last any longer then half an hour. We share and make EVERYONE plump! HAHAHAHA!

I have plenty of pictures to upload but I don't have the complete set yet. So you guys have to wait, k? I promise the next few pictures will be cool cause I took them in my secondary school that day, when I was helping out with the STUDENT COUNCIL CAMP. We took a jump shot and it was AWESOME! Can't wait to show you guys how lame I can be sometimes.

HAPPY 4YEARS 2MONTH ANNIVERSARY TO MY AMRITDAVE :)

I know that this year has been the hardest year for us but nothing seems to stop us.

Honestly, I never thought that we would last this far but look at us now!

You have never fail to prove me every single day that you still love me.

I love you for that.

Always reminding me that I'm never alone.

For that, I would like to thankYOU.

i love yoooouuu amrit.

forever and ever babe.

title:
date: Monday, October 20, 2008
time:9:19 PM

i love my baby.

the past few days i have been feeling very happy. and i miss all my dear friends. tt is why, i'm going to plan to meet them soon. most probably, for lunch, either individually or in a group. really miss those days where we could really talk and gossip. had been feeling very tired too. need more rest especially sleep. my ISP(integrated studio projects) are these week and i think i know what i wanna do. i don knw if its possible but its a risk i think i'm willing to take.

alot of drama is happening in my class and today itself, one more fight has happen and its all because of some SPOILT BRAT! hahaha. cant wait for part 2 tmr.

i cant drag my post for too long cause i have plenty of stuff to do now. but i promise i'll upload some pictures soon. oh ya. i need to know when u guys are free. if your name is i the list, pls do leave me a tag and state when your free for lunch with me. hopefully its a FREE lunch for me. hahahahahaha!

SHIMA.

KASMIRANTI.

WATI.

SHA.

DEE (yes you!).

MY BABY.

MY HILARIOUS NAFA CLASSMATES.

title:
date: Wednesday, October 15, 2008
time:8:17 AM

life full of drama.

my life is full of drama. from home to school, nothing is easy for me nowadays. thank god i have friends to fall back on. this are some of them. HAHA. we were so bored in school that we decide to goof around with my mac. the photo booth in my laptop is the most popular thing yesterday (shima likes it too). tuesday is a day when we goof around cause most of the time, our lecturer is never in. haha.

the past few days, my life is a complete disaster. i cannot ask for more problems. girl gets lecturing and gets pissed due to somethings. then girl spents the whole night crying out to boyfriend. girl gets another scolding yesterday and all she does is buat bodoh. my life is never the same anymore.

jalan raya was fun. the guys made it fun-ner. hahaha. even thought there wasnt alot of houses, we still had fun and i cant wait for next years occasion. pictures will be up soon but if u really CANT wait then drop over to shima's blog. haha.

ME & SHANTELLE & DAMN I FORGOT HER NAME AGAIN!

SHA & ME & SHANTELLE

SUPER HEROES OF THE FUTURE

NOTHING BETTER TO DO

AISYAH?

SYAH & SHA

ME & SEAN & SHA

UGLY SIA!

I TURNED LESBIAN.

title:
date: Tuesday, October 07, 2008
time:11:44 PM

photography is addictive.

hey. i'm back. i don't really have the mood to update nowadays due to school work but i have to keep my dearest friends and updated. HAHA. i have a few pictures for u guys to see and ponder on how BEAUTIFULLY taken is was. pls do leave your comment on my tag board.

i found out tt my classmate has a dark secret that is hidden in his wallet. aisyah can be a sick bitch sometimes. it affects a normal persons thinking when looked at, and i was one of them. i know you guys don know what i'm talking about, only those in 1L knows.

i love my baby.