you said move on (where do i go)

title:
date: Wednesday, April 29, 2009
time:2:02 AM

MY SWEET SWEET SWEET BOYFRIEND SENT ME FOOD AT

1.45am THRU' MY HOUSE BALCONY!

HAHAHAHAHA!
CRAZY BOYY.

ThankYOU! LOVES.

title:
date: Sunday, April 26, 2009
time:2:08 PM

The weekend comes and goes, then we're back to our life's again. I rather spent my time resting cause i don't get much of that. I know my holidays are coming soon, but i cant take it anymore. Im sitting infront of my lappy, trying to complete my rational report, and nothing is happening. My brain is constantly thinking about stuff and when it comes to really using it, it tends to break down. My life is so full of shitt right now.

title:
date:
time:12:44 AM

THE SCARY BUNCH FROM 1L!

My final year project seems to be in the dumps, even before i started anything. I dont know what to do, how to improve or if its even good enough. Im sick and tired of trying so hard but know that somehow im going to fall flat on my face. I FEEL SO FUCKED UP AND I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TOO!!!! FUCK!!!!!

" JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME "

title:
date: Thursday, April 23, 2009
time:10:57 PM

Lecturer's are BITCHES in disguise!

Im not having the best of days lately. Lecturer's breathing down your neck, waiting for a miracle from you, even when they know that is somewhat impossible. I hate the fact that nothing i do is ever good enough for all the lecturer's. Im not the only one being affected.

" as for my dear lecturer's, shove the whole project up your *toot*!!"

title:
date: Wednesday, April 22, 2009
time:10:56 PM

Cause you leave me speechless when you talk to me
You leave me breathless the way you look at me
You manage to disarm me, my soul is shining through
Can't help but surrender my everything to you.

title:
date: Monday, April 20, 2009
time:10:01 PM

I'm so happy today.

It may have been a somewhat boring day, but I'm happy. Met AMRIT today after so long, and it felt good. As per normal. he was up to his crazy ways but I don't mind. Went over to Popular to get for him, his school stuff and also mine. We went 'window-shopping' and finally sat outside Long John Silvers till it was time to go home.

ISP is killing me softly and slowly. Its week two and I don't have a solid idea on the concept. I'm so dead. If i don't settle them soon, I will have a hard time putting things together. SHITT. The thing that makes the whole situation fucked up, is the fact that you have to listen to 3 lecturer's advice and try to please each one. Somewhat be an 'ASS-KISSER'. Its tough but I'm trying. Satisfying all lecturers is not as easy as i thought it would be. THANKS NAFA!!

HOLIDAYS APPROACHING, THAT IS THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME STRONG RIGHT NOW!

title:
date: Sunday, April 19, 2009
time:2:49 PM

'Apparently, im daddy's girl.'

Didnt do anything for the past few days. Was too tired for anything. I rather rest and catch up on sleep. Here are some of the stuff i did for the week:

FRIDAY - Stayed home. Spent some 'quality time' with my family.
SATURDAY - Highlighted my hair. MAGENTA RED. My aunty was so lazy to do for me, so she sent me to the shop. She paid for me. Went over to my grandma's place.
TODAY - Im at the library by myself right now. Trying to do some research but im HUNGRY! :P

I have a long week coming. Its already week 2 for my final year project, and there isnt enough time for anything mistakes. I have to ace this project, to have a chance into getting the major i always wanted. It getting harder each day but i know i can do it. I may be a BITCH at times, due to stress, so just bear with me.

title:
date: Saturday, April 18, 2009
time:2:24 PM

I hope last night doesn't repeat again.

I was going through some old albums and found some really funny but nice pictures of me. Ill upload them, everytime i update. As for this picture, its me and my cousin, ADAM HUSSAIN. If im not wrong, we were at kampung. The 2 biggest babies at that time. :D

title:
date: Friday, April 17, 2009
time:6:37 PM

People always tell me, "Aisyah, we are so jealous of the two of you. You guys have been together for so long. So much love. You guys hardly fight." Somehow i don't feel so special no more. How could someone you love, tell you to go if you hate his attitude. I have been there even before you changed and all you could say was to go. You make it sound as if its all over. I ask you what is wrong with you and all you could say is 'nothing'. Then why put each other through such misery. Whenever i explain something, you act dumb. When i ask you to think, you say your dumb that is why your in ITE, and im taking a DIPLOMA. WTF! What does that got to do with anything? Maybe you forgot, i was an ITE student for 2 days too.

You make me feel like its a battle lost. You make things feel so numb. You want me to go, please tell me directly. Dont beat around the bush, cause when im gone, i won't come back syg. So please think through it. I don't want to make a mistake and regret it later on in life.

title:
date: Thursday, April 16, 2009
time:11:02 PM

Im emotional, physically and mentally drenched from all the problems in my life. Too have someone you love say harsh things, makes things worst for you. If its that difficult for you to handle or cope with the things you have in your life, then let go of one. Your not forced into doing this, neither was I. But if you think its hard then by all means. I have convinced myself that i don't deserve this from anyone, not even you. Your not my father, to say things that you did. You think its funny to say things in the haste of anger? I hate you for the fact that you make me believe that I lack a quality in my life.

I may forgive or be forgiven in the future, if it does work out. But bear in mind, that the words you say, will always be remembered. You wanna work, go ahead but don't blame for your misery cause all i did was to support you. I will not bother you with my problems, no more. I mean it this time, just like the words you say.

I put a fake face on, everyday. Most of the time to hide my feelings or weakness. But Im not doing that no more. I will live life the way its suppose to be. I wont fight with nature nor fate. You may use my words against me now, I don't care. All i know is that, my sacrifices have gone unnoticed by you.

title:
date: Wednesday, April 15, 2009
time:8:54 PM

i don expect anything from you no more.

cause i get rather emotional whenever i think about it.

title:
date: Tuesday, April 14, 2009
time:9:58 PM

FUCK LIFE.

NOT THE SAME NO MORE.

title:
date: Sunday, April 12, 2009
time:12:51 AM

I only finished 33 of my sketches, and this is one of the best.

I just don't have the mood or strength to sketch anymore faces, legs, hands and even lips, no more.

I cant stand anymore FACES!

i WAS pissed at you, AMRIT!

cause you never talk to me but its okayy..

but there is no excuses for tmr! :D

title:
date: Saturday, April 11, 2009
time:1:12 PM

Sleeping for 13hrs doesnt seem to be enough for me. The amount of sleeping hours that i missed since i started school is no where replaced. It just isnt enough. But.. I will just have to leave with it. My final year project starts next week and i haven't enough come out with anything yet. '24' is no where set in my head and i have plenty more of work to do.

Went out with my family last night, after so long. It was weird though, we sat at fish&co, without anything to say. My dad was the quietest. He had nothing to say. No one did. I was rather quiet too. Its been a long time since i last sat down with them in the same place for a long time. Well, overall, it was just rather weird. But i had FUN..

title:
date: Wednesday, April 08, 2009
time:8:23 PM

I'm calling his phone up, just to tell him how much

I really love him cause he's everything I want

He listens to me, cares for me

so I truely believe..

title:
date:
time:7:07 PM

Its was a rather short day today. Nothing much happened, besides the 'PREMIERE' of my group's short film. It had a positive respond to it, but from a horror flick, it turned out to be more of a comedy then a horror flick. But overall, we were happy with what we had and hope its enough to push us thru.

I need a break from school, badly. My mind is no where from peaceful. I have so many more things to do and I don't even know where to start. Amrit, we need to have an outing. Somewhere fun. Somewhere where we can be crazy. I need a break. You plan k? HAHAHAHA.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE TO AISHAH JAMIL!

title:
date: Tuesday, April 07, 2009
time:1:20 AM

Things are not the way i for-see it.

I even have trouble trying to get my shit together.

Its totally the wrong time for me to fall apart.

My final year project is up next week and still had the time to sit and put on my thinking cap.

AISYAH LATIFF! WAKE UP!

But anyway, cut long story short.

I'M TOTALLY 100PERCENT SURE THAT I'M STRESSED!

title:
date:
time:1:00 AM

I'M HAVING THE WORST DAYS OF MY LIFE.

title:
date: Saturday, April 04, 2009
time:8:46 PM

THIS IS WHAT BOREDOM LOOKS LIKE.

FRIDAY 02/04/09

I had a great day yesterday. I met AMRIT at his house, after so long not seeing him. Even though it was only for awhile, it was worth it. We practically watched 'MY WIFE AND KIDS', on the net. I had a long conversation with his mom. She was complaining about KCP and how cunning some of them are. It was a long since i last talked to her but it was okayy.

I got home and had some time to rest but then i had to make my way to Yishun to pick my grandmother up cause my uncle and his family had an un-planned holiday in Malaysia plus, free tickets to watch F1. BASTARD RIGHHT!! HAISS.

SATURDAY 03/04/09

TODAY WAS A BORING DAY! Some of the most irritating people in my family woke me up so early and i couldn't asleep from that moment on. I was pissed but at least i had more time to do some work. IT WAS PRACTICALLY A VERRRRRRRYYYYYY BORING DAY! Had nothing much to do besides, doing work and sleeping.

I have not heard from some of my friends. For example, SHIMA&DIANA. So hope you guys are okayy. Msg me soon kayy.

AMRIT DOESN'T KNOW WHAT 'SNOBBISH' MEANS.

RIGHT SYG!

HAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! :)

title:
date: Wednesday, April 01, 2009
time:10:48 PM

I just need to clear some stuff before i continue with what i have to say. My previous post was not referring to anyone. I was just pissed with myself as i was too tired to complete anything. My brain keeps telling me to shut down but i just can't. I was mostly referring to myself. I'm the only person on earth that would actually scold myself 'fucker'. I just hope nobody got offended or got misunderstood.

Well, since i got that off my chest, i feel so much better. I'M MORE HAPPIER THEN YESTERDAY. My CREW finally completed on our short film and it was a great bonding time. Even though it was so tiring, i was really proud of everyone. I will never regret being in the same group as you guys! I will try to upload our film soon, for everyone to view&comment on.

i know your going through a hard time, shima.

but its not the end, till the last fight.

you can do it cause your still here, till now.

so why stop now right?

so hang on, relax and do what you have too. :D