you said move on (where do i go)

title:
date: Monday, June 01, 2009
time:11:40 PM

To the person I love the most..

You apologised. I know you meant it. You say you feel guilty for all those things youu said but youu still meant every word. I can forgive you but I can't forget. I tried before and I know myself. I wished you could have taken those words back but lets face it, you can't. If you really meant every word, I don't want you to apologise. Its hard enough that I'm going through it alone, but to know that you still meant everything, is too much for me. I'm sorry that things turned out this way too but I can't do anything no more. I didn't mean to put you through this. You should know how dramatic my life is. You said before, you could take it, but you lied. No one can.

The day I accepted you, 4+years ago, I thought my dramatic life was over. I thought things were going to get better for me. But I was wrong. I thought I could love someone without looking back at what has happen in my past. Somehow, my past seems to repeats itself. I wanted to feel loved. I was desperate for it, and I got it from you but I'm being selfish. I don't deserve any of your love and concern cause I can't give you even half of what you have given me. You gave me everything. I know you would do anything your capable of, to keep me happy but I don't want to keep taking when I can't give you back. My father is not going to make things easy for us. You should know that. I've explained to you so many times. His different. I'm the only daughter he has, its harder to let go.

Even if he knows, its not going to get any easier. His going to be down our throats till the trust is there. I'm not complaining. Im prepared for whatever there is but are you? Are you going to be there with me, holding my hand tightly, kissing my forehead and telling me you love me? After whatever you said yesterday, are you still willing to stand by me.. Are you.. Amrit?

even if you don't have anything to say, can't you just tell me you still love me?