the muti-talented girl whose life revolves around her friends and family, good food, great talks,
creative works, booty-shaking music and funky dance moves - I have a life, and lives it to the fullest."
title: I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better. date: Sunday, August 30, 2009 time:2:04 PM
Firstly, let me introduce my cousin KAMAL, and my adorable nephew, ZIGGY. He celebrated his first birthday on National Day and his coming to Singapore in September. Isn't he adorable for a mixed indian muslim australian.
Anyway, one week of fasting has passed and things are getting better for me. I am finally convinced that my bad days were caused by PMS. The stress, frustration, anger and tears were due to it, but right now, I'm feeling great. I may not be at the top of my game, but at least I'm slightly happy. Still not happy yet though.
I have a major presentation on Tuesday and I have to nail this well. It carries 50% of my overall score. Its mostly based on History, so i guess i have a good chance on doing well for this. After that, I'M GOING FOR DINNER WITH MY LOVELY, IRRITS BOYFRIEND! YEAH! So, I'm also looking forward to that too. Need to spent some quality time with that boy. He called me so many times yesterday, and most of the time, it was for less than 5 minutes. He was suppose to be working but somehow, was still able to 'disturb' me. But its okayy. :D
SHIMA! THURSDAY FREE?!
title: just another BITCH in town. date: Thursday, August 27, 2009 time:12:11 PM
PROMISES (verb)
; assure someone that one will definitely do, give, or arrange something; undertake or declare that something will happen.
Keeping promises are hard to do, but easy to make up. You don't notice the damage till someone gets hurt from it. The only reason why people make promises in the first place is to replace a previous white lie (that is what i think). But why make them when you, yourself, know somehow that something is going to happen in the end. I've been at the losing end many times but still im pretty naive at times. Thinking that it won't happen to me again. The trust i have for the people around is very great. Now i know why my dad always reminds me to never trust people too much. Im not saying that not being able to keep your promises is a sin, but the impact it has on the people on the receiving end is GREAT.
Let me tell you a story about a girl who thought her worst days were over. She has been having trouble with this guy but no one really knows why. She has been at the lowest point of her life lately, and somehow this guy isnt much of a help. She loves him to death but nothing seems to be right. They argue almost all night now, and its always over the same thing. The blame is pushed from one end to the other, and no one is manning up to it. She decides to let it flow. Simply said, let it go. She behaved herself, by not bringing the problems up but somehow, yesterday was not the case. She sat on her parents bed, watching the flat screen, waiting for his message. He called instead, asking her if she wanted him to call her that night. But it came with a rule: I'll only call if you miss me and want to talk. No fighting was allowed. It sounded pretty good to her since she had a long day. It would be nice to have a nice, long, loving conversation with the one she loves the most. But that happiness was short lived.
She received a message 15minutes later, telling her that he had things to do. She was devastated. She unplugged her handphone from her charger and went straight to bed. She charged her phone, cause she thought it might come in handy later but she was wrong. She went to sleep with nothing but tears and frustration. She tries to wonder off to sleep but somehow, THE PROMISE made by the guy lingers in her mind. Its not the first time this has happen, but who is she to say anything. She made a few mistakes before, but she doesn't think she has done this before. She just needs the person she loves to be there and nothing more. The presence of this person is more important then anything else, but somehow that is the only thing she isnt getting lately. Lonely and cold, she went to bed, still in tears. Neyo's song, MAD, was the last thing she heard as she dozed off...
i guess im the one with the problem.
title: FINALLY. date: Saturday, August 22, 2009 time:10:55 PM
Its the first day of fasting month, and i can definitely say, it was rather easy. I woke up really late, so i guess that helped out alot. I was trying to keep myself busy with stuff, so decided to go grocery shopping with my aunt, at J8. Got some food stuff for breakfast. The first day of breakfast was not bad. We had pizza, porridge, dumplings and ice lemon tea. Doesn't seem like we're fasting. But anyway, it was okay. 28 More days to go.
I got myself a new phone, FINALLY! Sony Ericsson W980. Super SLEEK i might say. I'm such a sotong when it comes to sony ericsson but i'm getting use to it. Anyway, it's $0, so its a good bargain right.
Today is my 5th year anni. It started off on the wrong foot. I don't want to speak about it cause it pisses me off. Somehow i hope he notices it. If not then its his lose.
ANYWAY, HAPPY 5TH YEAR ANNI.
title: TIME TO MOVE ON date: Tuesday, August 18, 2009 time:7:18 PM
You have to move on for his sake. Don't feel sad that his gone, but remember him for who he was. Do the things he never got to do, wisely and make sure you do it well. Live life to the fullest and make sure nothing comes in your way. He may not have experienced warm love before, but trust me, if you do things the right way in life, he's the happiest boy up there. Don't let his passing be a negative point but a positive one. Thank him for opening up your eyes on the things you took for granted and make it up to him. You complete his life. Complete his dreams - driving license.
You have always been a big brother to him, and i bet you have been there most of the time, protecting him from danger. But guess what.. He's going to be the one, protecting you throughout the rest of your life. He'll make sure you have a smooth life ahead and make sure you don't commit the same mistakes as him. You wont be able to see nor hear him, but you can feel him and think about those times he made you happy. Syg, he's life is not over, like how some people think but its only the beginning, and I'm sure, he wants you to start living life to the fullest too. Do it for him, syg. Be strong for him.
title: where's my midnight romeo? date: Monday, August 17, 2009 time:3:44 PM
Firstly, I would like to sent my condolences to AMRIK'S FAMILY. The boy I never got to meet, will be missed.
Heartache. Insanity. Boredom. Three words with one similarity. ME. I was up last night, waiting for the news about amrit's cousin, and I realised how lonely and frustrated i was with my life. To make matters worst, i could hardly sleep.
Life takes a drastic turn for the worst, in my case. I'm at the lowest point in my life, and I need to find a way to pull myself back on track, before I drift. As for %@$*, I don't know what else to do, to make sense anymore.
Ohhyess.. I almost forgot.
HAPPY ADVANCED 17TH BIRTHDAY TO ASYRAF LATIFF! :D
title: AISYAH IS NOT AISYAH ANYMORE! date: Sunday, August 16, 2009 time:12:44 AM
Had a long, miserable day. Could hardly breathe thru my mouth. I seem to be out of breathe every 5minutes. I can hardly keep up with my baby cousin ever since I got sick, and its really getting into my head. Affected emotional, not really physically. As in.. I get really moody when things don't go my way or, when i expect a message from someone and it doesn't seem to arrive. Its frustrating sometimes. I have so many things on my mind, and it hurts. Im not a person that lets the smallest things get to her, but nowadays, im just seriously moody/cranky. I need to stop feeling so depressed all the time, and wake up to smell the roses. I seem to be losing interest in doing my school work, and its scary to realise such a fact. I need to get myself back on track.
My father is in the most crankiest state today. Giving all of us a hard time, even though its not our fault. From not bringing his keys, when we're not home to losing his soccer stuff and screaming at the top of his lungs. I think his having one of his PMS moments, and somehow its affecting me. I know his aging, but seriously, he doesn't have to vent it all on us.
Friends. What can i say about them? I have those who are in their own world, while those who wants to be included in things that the rest are doing. Those with problems and those who are so easy going. As for those with problems.. all i can say is, be patient. I may not be the best person with patience, but somehow that is the first thing that comes to mind. I don't have to mention your name, cause I know YOU know, Im talking about you. I may not be there like the old times, and im sorry but that's life. I may not be there to catch you when you fall, but you can sure bet, i'll be there to care for you while you recover. If your angry with me for not being there or ditching you, then i apologise. All i can tell u is.. the rest of us are praying that you'll settle this problem soon. Seriously, get back to me when your ready, no rush.
Amrit. I'M WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY RIGHT NOW! My blood is rushing to my head and my body heat is on the raise. I'm getting pissed waiting, and somehow your not there. I don't know if your on your bike, or not with friends, but PLEASE, just reply the damn msg. That is all i ask of you. You don't want to talk then say. I don't know what is wrong with me, so im warning you now.
THANKYOU! THANKYOU! I know I'm the master of surprises, and it always works. So.. THANKYOU! HAHAHAA! I think I had too much cake. Anywhooooo.. Shima&Kasmi's surprise party went as planned. Well.. not exactly cause some people were not there, for example, DIANA SAPARUDIN & AMRITDAVE SINGH. But anyway, we wished you guys were there to join in the lame-ness! We ate the cake on your behalf, so it was worth it, right?
The cake was too much for only 4 people. THANKGOD, Kasmi was there to gobble everything done. (hope she didn't puke during training) Went home to count on my money, and i have a huge hole in my pocket. No more surprises for now, okeydokey people. Aisyah is under some financial difficulties. Ohh.. we took like a zillion pictures just now, but too bad, i don't really have them with me now. Will upload them once MS SHIMA posts it.
I have many things planned for the weekend, but not quite sure if i can make it for any of them. I have a gig to attend tmr, its AISHAH'S event, but im too sick and i don't want to pass it on to anyone else. I have another gig on sunday, SHIMA'S event, and im not even sure if i can make it for that either. ARGH! And to top it off, I HAVE TONS OF ASSIGNMENTS TO COMPLETE. -___- I guess i have to make up my mind soon, and hopefully things go well.
From my previous post, I was nagging about my sore-throats and splitting migraines right? But guess what! I still have them. The sore-throats got worst last night, and i had the most uncomfortable night ever. I was tossing and turning, but somehow i managed to get some sleep. It didnt stop there. In class, my throat was so dry and sore, that I drank water like a camel, and still nothing. I coughed so badly, it felt as if a frog was making its way up my throat. SERIOUSLY!
I will update soon. Hopefully with more pictures, yeah? :D
title: the only thing that is killing me right now is the sore-throat. date: Thursday, August 13, 2009 time:7:35 PM
Has anyone realise that the weather has been rather HOT the past few days, and I swear to god, there is never a day where I will walk into class, without sweating. Anyway, school has been great! The only thing that seems to get in my way is, my sore-throat. I can drink like a camel and still end up sore. Its ridiculous! I'm suppose to be at the gym now, with the girls, but i'm scared i might pass it to them. Ohh yeah, shima is going to turn 19 tmr! WOAHHHHHH!!!! I have no idea why im so happy. I think its the fact that someone else is turning one year older just like me! I'm going to belanja her bubble-tea tmr. Make her happy and hope it will make her day. HEHEHEHE!
i just have this feeling that i might fall asleep before midnight. sooo..
HAPPY ADVANCED 19TH BIRTHDAY NORSHIMAMAA! may your life be full of happiness. :D
title: I DON'T FEEL SO WELL. date: Monday, August 10, 2009 time:10:36 PM
These are the boys (my cousins) who represented the RAZZAK FAMILY, and LOST! ISK!
Another year for Singapore, and another year for me to do nothing but stay home and complete my stupid assignments. As per normal, I didnt really get enough sleep last night and I'm cranky as ever. I've not eaten anything since last night cause there isnt anything in the fridge. I'M HUNGRY! Amrit is sick apparently, and i think i'm coming down to take care of him, most probably on wednesday. Okayy syg?
August. I have too many friends, who will be celebrating their birthdays this month. My pockets are dissolving and i think my hair are falling too. NO MONEY! I think i'll get them something small, okayy? I don't really have things to update about, but whatever it is, ENJOY YOUR WEEKENDS GUYS!
title: You got me hating on the club, cause you took my love. date: Saturday, August 08, 2009 time:3:58 PM
My eyes are dried up from last night. To be honestly, I couldn't get any sleep. I was till 0630 in the morning, just sitting down, thinking about what we said to each other. Both of us had a bad day, and tried to vent it on each other. Nothing made sense even when we put down the phone, and still no difference now. I'm tired and restless, occupied mentally and physically and I don't know if I can take anymore SHIT from people right now. I have other things to think about, and maybe its a good idea for me to keep it that way.
"HAPPY NATIONAL DAY EVERYONE!"
title: LIFES A BITCH, NO MATTER RAIN OR SHINE. date: Friday, August 07, 2009 time:1:07 PM
I feel like writing about something. Something that everyone knows or have felt it before. My story may not be very direct but its the moral/message that is the most important. By writing skills may suck, due to the lack of practice nowadays, but anyway, here it goes..
There he was. Blindfolded and tied down to the chair. I emptied his pockets and came across his wallet. A picture of his wife and daughter greeted me upon opening it. I read aloud the caption at the bottom of the picture; JANE AND CHRISTY.
“ Who said that?” I threw his wallet away and ripped off his blindfold. His eyes took some time to adjust to the light in my pathetic apartment.
“Who are you!” he screamed. His large, fear filled eyes did little to support this false courage. I pulled out my gun and hit him on the nose. A few spots of blood started to land on his blueish-black business suit. He looked a lot less like the man I kidnapped two hours ago.
“Please man, I have a wife and kid back at home probably worried sick on my whereabouts, so if you will just tell me what you want from me I’m sure we can come to an agreement.”
“What do I want?” I asked myself. It was obvious I needed the cash. I have been unemployed for almost a month now, but what really tore a hole inside of me was the recent end to my two-year relationship with the only girl who I have really loved. Nothing he could offer me would be enough to bring her back. I took out the gun and took aim.
“Wait!” he desperately pleaded as beads of perspiration rolled down his cheeks. His eyes locked on the gun that I had rested in between his eyes. ”I’m a psychologist. I can help you.”
“Fine. Help me then.” I pulled a chair and sat face-to-face with my captive. He did seem familiar to me but I just could not remember where I had seen him before.
“Well,” he hesitated. ”You obviously had a tough childhood, probably lost your father at an early age.”
I lost my dad at aged nine from lung cancer and it probably showed in my face.
“Didn’t fit in in secondary school. And dropped-out in,” he paused. “Secondary three,”
“Ok that probably was a lucky guess.” I thought to myself.
“ From the state of this place, I can tell that you are unemployed after losing a job that you hated in the first place.”
“This guy is good.” I said to myself.
“And to rub salt into your wounds, you have just realised that your relationship with what I think is your childhood sweetheart have just come to an end,” as he looked at me with an aura of tranquility around him.
I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore. This random man that I just plucked out from the streets could read me inside-out with such ease.
“It’s ok to cry,” my captive obviously surprised at my outburst. “Now listen to me. Thank you for showing mercy to me by not pulling the trigger when you could have. To show my gratitude, I would like to offer you a job with a generous starting pay if you let me go now, and you have my word that I will not go to the police. Please allow me to help you.”
I looked at him again while wiping off my tears. He did look like the kind of guy who keeps his promises. ”Fine.” I said and reached down to cut him loose.
“Thank you,” he said while rubbing his sore wrists. ”Now could you pass me my wallet,”
I turned and reached down to pick up his wallet from the floor. But as I stood back up, I felt a heavy blow on the side of my head which knocked the wind out of me.
I woke up only to find myself tied down to a chair.
“Good morning!” a voice shouted out from the direction of the kitchen. ”I helped myself to some stuff in your kitchen if you don’t mind,”
That was when I realised where I had seen him before.
“Shhhh,” he said as he put down the plate of sandwiches he had made on the table. “You know, I never really liked you whilst in secondary school, but at least I don’t have to pretend to anymore,” as he pulled out my gun from his back pocket.
I realised then that the mercy I showed to him before was not going to be repaid.
“Life is cruel,” he said as he took aim and fired.
Its a simple story but yet, i tried to inject the emotions / feelings, i'm going thru now. No matter what we do or don't do, life is never fair, life is a bitch. I guess I have always learned it the hard way. I fall hard but somehow, I pick myself up but still broken to pieces. Its amazing how one person can pick herself up and put herself back, try to live a normal life, without letting people know how i truly feeling...
i want to keep things to myself from now on.
title: BUBBLE-TEA ANYONE? date: Tuesday, August 04, 2009 time:5:05 PM
I WANT MORE SHOES! HAHAHA!
I know its very random of me but i have trouble matching my outfits with my footwear, everyday! So frustrating! Life is great! Especially yesterday, cause i was out with my boy. He made me happy! :D
School has been good. Lessons are the same boring ones everyday, but somehow, i'm beginning to love ADVERTISING more and more. I know i'm not a marvelous drawer but i sure do have fresh ideas flowing in my gigantic head. As for classmates, i think my class is not bad. Very quiet yet funny, competition but in a helpful way. I don't know what im talking about anymore. I'm NOT feeling myself lately! I can say, I'm very THE CRAZY nowadays. Its either im deaf or blurr, if not then its both. AISYAH! AISYAH! WHAT HAS HAPPEN TO YOU!!
P.S HAPPY BELATED 49TH BIRTHDAY DADDY! & I MISS SHIMA! :(
