you said move on, where do i go?


profile

the muti-talented girl whose life revolves around her friends and family, good food, great talks, creative works, booty-shaking music and funky dance moves - I have a life, and lives it to the fullest."

tagboard

find me




friends
1L 2B Adam Aishah Ameera Dee Josh Jeanie Kasmi Poots Sandeep Senget Sha Shantelle Shima Siti Nuraini Waty

thanks
© * étoile filante
inspiration/colours: mintyapple
icons: cablelines
reference: x / x

past
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
May 2006
July 2006
October 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
title: I want to be a billionaire, so freaking bad.
date: Sunday, April 04, 2010
time:11:29 PM
04th April 2010; 12:02AM

I walked out of everything we worked so hard for. Before i made my decision, i sat in your room, waiting for an answer. An answer that eventually led me to think that you don't deserve such a life. A life that involves me.

ME = LIAR.

Someone that is afraid to take one step back and look at the bigger picture. A girl that thinks she needs more in life, when she already has everything she could ever have. A stupid girl, i was. I couldn't decide.

Went down the staircase, crying. Stopped in her tracks, as she forgot to give back her ring. Went through her bag, but couldn't find it. He called and she answered. He was on he's way down and she began to panic. She didn't want him to chase her down, but he did. He followed her, as she kept telling him to go away. He grabbed her by her wrist and dragged her, in the rain. Walked though the rain, drenched. Cold. He demanded answers and all she could do was, cry.

"Do you want me or not?"

The one question she dreaded, hearing. She stood frozen in her tracks, in he's glare. Tears started to build up, and he saw her cry. She tried to hold everything back, but she wasn't strong enough. She was weak.

"I want you, but not this way."

She watched, the words, break him into pieces. Wished she could take it back, but it was too late. She was being honest, to herself for the first time. He dragged her on. She stared at the ground, every time she passed someone. She didn't want them to see her cry. Still in the rain, they walked. The further they went, the tighter he held on to her. The tighter he did, the more she would struggle.

They sat under a shelter, side by side. With a huge gap in between. He wanted answers. He wanted it now. He wanted honest answer, but she couldn't bear to see him shatter.

"What did i do, to deserve this?"

She knew the answer, but didn't dare say it out. No words were suitable. Silent was her final answer. He grew frustrated, and got up. He was about to leave. She sat there crying. It was for real now, she thought.

"So this is it?"

He turned and didnt know what to say. For the first time he was speechless. He couldn't find the right words. He was shattered inside. So was she.. She wanted, tried to leave, so many times, but he kept holding her hand. Pulled her back down to her seat. He pulled her back down to earth, back to reality. Cause all she wanted to do was, drown in her dreams and expectations. Drown in her sorrow. Blame the world for her misery. She wanted to be anywhere else but there, with he's sinful glares.

They talked, shouted, pulled, pushed, looked away, etc. It felt like forever..

"All i wanna know now is, do you still want this?"
"Yes or No."

She took a deep breathe and said whatever that was right. Whatever she thought was what she meant. She followed her HEART.

"YES"

Her memory went blank. Blurred by her tears. He pulled her in, swung his arms around her and squeezed the life out of her. He held her tight. He wasn't gonna let her go, for sure. She understood it now. She understood why he came after her. She understood why he shattered. SHe understood everything there and then. She finally understood..

They sat there, in each others arms, cold and exhausted...