you said move on (where do i go)

title: ASIA NOW JUNIOR INDOOR SOCCER LEAGUE 2010.
date: Monday, May 31, 2010
time:1:42 AM

title: RUN BOY RUNNNNNNN!
date:
time:1:19 AM

stupid in love.

I'll skip all the crap that I was planning to say. I'll go straight to the point. I'm miserable and rather suicidal. I hate life, and always wondered why am I still here. I love the people around me, but I think I'm bothering them, taking up their personal space and the oxygen they breathe. The last time i felt this way, was probably when I was in Sec 1. The start of teen-hood was the end of life itself, for me. I was a rebellious teen who had a crappy life, miserable family and an ex boyfriend that was full of bull-shit! Now I'm back to square one.

Well, since I've unleashed my crap-iness, I shall now tell you about my day. Went over to The Kallang Cage. It was definitely my first time over, and I'm pretty impressed with the whole thing. I was the main photographer for my father's friends event. It was a kid's soccer league, and I can definitely say, the kids were freaking talented. They started from the age of 5 and they came in different shapes, sizes and colours. They came together to represent their different town CC's, and I was definitely impressed. Besides the weather that nearly gave me a heat stroke, the whole event was a complete success. Well done boys!

The only thing that bothered me deeply, was the way the parents were reacting during the games. The whole reason for this league was for the kids to learn discipline and respect for the game and also their fellow opponents, but the parents didnt take the lead. They embarrassed themselves. I was really disappointed. The kids would be in the cage, playing their hearts out and all you can hear from the parents were, " EHHHHH, TAKE THAT BOY DOWN! COME ON! FASTER LA! THAT BOY CHEATED! HOW COULD HE PULL MY SON DOWN!". Awww, come on parents. Some of the kids were so stressed out, that some even broke down on court. They wanted to have fun but parents made it otherwise. I hate parents who do nothing but grumble or complains about something that their not even involved in. If the kids were to complain, I would understand but this were the parents. How sad can this be for Singapore?

CONGRATULATIONS TO KAK FARAH ON YOUR WEDDING! :)

title: while you were gone.
date: Sunday, May 30, 2010
time:3:02 AM

i got sun-burned on the nose.

title: that's for you, baby.
date: Friday, May 28, 2010
time:1:15 AM

title: the imperfect fit.
date: Thursday, May 27, 2010
time:2:03 AM

i'm the imperfect piece in your life.

it has always been like this,

but it took me that long to realize.

you liked the idea of me being there with you,

calling me youre girl.

you loved the idea of someone loving you back,

but you didnt love me for who i am.

you thought i was the missing piece in youre life,

but i was the imperfect fit.

i've been trying to fit myself into the life you wanted,

but sorry to say,

i dont belong there.

i was never the perfect girl.

my hand was never the perfect fit.

my love was never perfect from the beginning,

but we still managed to get thru this.

i told you before, and i will tell you again.

only stay if you love me for who i am.

whatever else that is in between,

i don't wanna be part of it.

honestly,

you were never the perfect guy either.

but i guess i made do with it.

title: raise your middle fingers to the world.
date:
time:12:47 AM

let me see.

how do i break the news to you?

hmmmm..

FUCK OFF!

Oooops! Was that too harsh for you?

I don't fucking care right now!

title: amrit, could you help me pls?
date: Tuesday, May 25, 2010
time:3:22 AM

can i have some potato chips, pls?

Had some quality time with Amrit yesterday. Spent the whole day at he's place, watching The Orphan & The Losers (halfway). We didn't do much though. We chill in bed and abused each other. There was a point where we were both so angry with each other, that we started scolding each other. Within 5 minutes, he did something to make me laugh and there we were happy again. It doesn't take me long to forget what we were fighting about. I love that about him, the fact that he knows me to well. Oh ya, amrit is also a very sore loser. He keeps saying that I cheated but i didn't. SO FACE IT AMRIT! :P

title: please don't stop the rain.
date: Sunday, May 23, 2010
time:11:38 PM

what could you do without a third-class citizen?

"Poached eggs on toast with butter on the side, a cafe latte with skim milk, pls?

One Jones English Breakfast with Scrambled eggs. A hot skinny cappuccino, after the meal pls?

I asked for Vanilla Cream, and this doesn't even taste like Vanilla?!

My eggs are too dry, I want them wet, pls!"

The constant demands never stop. The more i think about it, the more frustrated i get. Thinking that i have to serve this morons for the sake of money, as a part time third-class citizens upsets me. I was born in a middle class family that showered they're children with love and everything that they could ever need or could afford, so why am i even working? I would rather sit in bed, with a book in hand, and drown myself in fiction or take my brothers out for a soccer match, down at the multi storey carpark.

I kept asking myself that same question every single time someone asks me about their meal or the coffee they ordered 15 minutes ago. I seriously don't care about it. Maybe the only reason why i drag myself to work, is because of the close bond i've made with the people working there. With Grace, throughout the day, by my side, watching each other's back makes it easier i guess. But for how long would this last?

Jones is my first F&B job and it would definitely be my last. I've learnt so much from those ignorant rude customers. Even though i hate them so much, and put a fake smile on my face every single time, they have taught me a valuable lesson.. and that is to never be like THEM, full stop.

title: Sonny Bill Williams; New Zealand Rugby Player.
date: Saturday, May 22, 2010
time:10:24 PM

New Zealand.

The land of white clouds, and not forgetting the All Blacks.

The last time i went over to New Zealand, I fell in love with the culture, the tribes and the guys.

But not the extend that I would hyperventilate over some juicy rugby player.

Okay, my latest fetish.

Sonny Bill Williams.

New Zealand All Blacks Rugby Player / Boxer.

The body.

The boy-next-door face.

The tattoo sleeve.

*drooling*

If only Amrit could have a tattoo, I want you to get just like that.

Amrit, then you wouldn't have to worry about me straying.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAA!

Just Joking. :)

title: te amo.
date:
time:9:55 PM

somebody to love.

Distances makes the heart fonder.

Amrit went over to Malacca for a family trip on Friday morning. I know it was only the first day that he was not here and I had a dream about him already. The dream was the most beautiful and sweetest thing I could ever dream off, maybe some of you guys would disagree.

In the dream, we were married. I was at work, at the looks of my dressing, I was in some marketing company. He was at home, with he's family getting ready for some function. I called and asked him to take me home, as I wasn't feeling well. So he did. He was there before 20minutes, in a black Subaru Jeep. :) He sent me to the hospital for a check-up as i wasn't feeling well, and stayed with me thru-out the whole process. He was making fun of people in the hospital, just cause he was trying to make me laugh, as always. Then, the nurse approached and asked if i was allergic to anything or whether i was pregnant. I looked at Amrit, and smiled before saying, no. She said that it was just procedures. Then she continued to ask when was my last period. I started counting and realised that it has been awhile. I was so caught up with work and taking care of amrit that i forgot.

The nurse brought me for an ultra sound. And there it was.. I was 8weeks pregnant. It was a beautiful moment as I had happy tears, and Amrit was just speechless. He kissed my forehead and kept staring at the monitor.

I woke up after that. It was weird and beautiful, all at the same time. I didn't know what to do after I got up, so i decided to msg him and tell him about everything. I didn't care if he replied or not, but i just had to tell someone. I know its not normal for someone like me to dream of such stuff. Its really seldom that I have such dreams.

The last dream I had was, about Senget and the tall guy from school that was chasing me, after kissing me. Senget came to the rescue, and he was really slow!

With such dreams, I love going to sleep. Maybe i might meet Justin Timberlake or Stan Walker, or even get to make out with Sonny Bill Williams. You wouldn't know what will happen next. :)

title: twenty.five.twenty-ten
date: Thursday, May 20, 2010
time:12:40 AM

ignorance runs through our veins.

There are days where i just wanna kill you, and days where i wished i never knew you. You make living so god-damn hard for me. I hate you for that. You do the silliest things to piss the shit out of me, and you do a good job at it. There are days when i wanna have a decent normal conversation with you - but youre busy. Then there are days when I just want to be left alone - then youre getting angry over the fact that you can't get through. You spent time with youre friends, stay up all night and go on a sleepless night, and I have to take the shit.

I'm more then just an option.

Refused to be forgotten.

I took a chance with my heart.

And, I feel it taking over.

Maybe what they say about us is true.

title: Stan Walker - Unbroken [Official Video]
date: Tuesday, May 18, 2010
time:10:34 PM

cause of you, i'm unbroken. :)

you have broken me into pieces that nothing else in this world can do it any worst.

you made me stronger, baby.

thanks amrit! <3

title: because of YOU, i'm unbroken.
date:
time:9:52 PM

"She says te amo then she put her hand around me waist
I told her no,
She cries te amo i told her im not gonna run away but let me go
My soul is crying, without asking why
I said te amo, wouldnt somebody tell me what she said
Don't it mean I love you"

2 days. 2 days of invisibility. That was all i wanted, and that was what i got. But it came with a price. A costly one. I'm not proud of what i did, but i did what i thought was good for me. I was on the verge of losing myself. I'm not going to lose myself, for the sake of someone else's carelessness. I have better things in my life that needs my attention. For example, amrit.

"..but in the process, of what you want to do, you ignored me?"

I knew i have been unfair. I have been missing from your life. I kept you at a distance, so we wouldn't get into a conflict. I was trying to stay a distance, to protect us. Its not easy to explain, and like what i said, i don't expect you to understand. I know you feel that its unfair for you, but i'm gonna make things better. I'm sick and tired of getting hurt. I know i don't use this word whenever i had to, but i will now. SORRY.

title: "Dil Laga Liye" - Dil Hai Tumhara
date: Monday, May 17, 2010
time:3:45 AM

One of my favourite songs that i listen to whenever we fight. It just reminds me why I'm still here fighting for you're love.

"I've given you my heart, I am in love with you."

title: its more then just balls.
date: Sunday, May 16, 2010
time:11:38 PM

As some of you guys might know, the World Cup is about to start. My family is all geared up (i think). We have this thing where we write down our predictions, each person has 5 choices and the person with the correct prediction is the winner. I don't even know why my family plays this, but it makes it very interesting. I still remember, we would wake up early just to strike out the countries that has been eliminated. The last winner, was my mom. She said Spain would win, and she was right.. So don't think my dad is always the one with the "answers"..

But as for mom and i, we look forward to something else. We are looking forward to the hot good looking guys. YES, HOT CUTE BOYS CHASING BALLS! HAHHAHAH! Here are some of them, for your eyes to indulge...

Cristiano Ronaldo, Portugal
He will always be in every girl's list.
He has the speed and looks that could kill.

Sergio Ramos, Spain.
He is the reason why I wanna visit Spain.
He is the reason why I wanna have a Spanish husband.
He can *ehem*, i mean defend me anytime he wants. ;)

Cesc Fabregas, Spain.
The young spanish who has the killer smile.
Ohh god, look at that face (below).
SUPER ADORABLE!

Fernando Torres, Spain.
Isn't it funny that most of the cute ones come from Spain.
Baby face Torres.
I LOVE HE'S INNOCENCE! :)

Lionel Messi, Argentina.
He's so small and adorable.
I wanna bring him around with me, in my pocket.
A natural goal scorer and he's cute at what he does.

Lucas Podolski, Germany.
Germany was the most hated country in the world due to Hitler, but they have my support now.
I can't spell CUTE without U, Lucas.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!
CORNY!