you said move on (where do i go)

title: Usher - There Goes My Baby
date: Monday, August 30, 2010
time:4:08 AM

if amrit comes out as hot as Usher, ill go - "there goes my baby~!"

title: the world's most irritating dad.
date:
time:2:17 AM

"the greatest gift in honor is having you for a daughter."

Found this picture from Mulan, that reminded me of my relationship with my dad. This movie demonstrated how my dad and i were, towards each other. He is a over-protected father who wants the best for his daughter, but i wanna live my life the way i want.

We didn't really got along, most of my growing up years - but now, i can say that we're trying to work towards something. I grow up making plenty of mistakes, and my father was there to clear the shit i got myself into. And when i was in my teenage years, i did everything in my power to make it right. And why i had to do this, was because my father lost his trust w me. I would lie about almost everything - and it came to the point where everything i was saying was a lie, to him.

And ever since that point in my life, i tried my best to make it up to him, even till now. But my father forgot that i'm a growing adult, who will have to leave the house soon & fall in love. The point in his life, where he has to stop holding on to me. I think he forgot that his daughter is now a woman.

I don't blame him for seeing me in that way. My behavior doesn't really help in a way, whenever i'm at home. But that doesn't change the fact that I'll have to go one day.

The reason for this post is for the kiss to the forehead that my dad gave me just now. For e encouragement he gives me, whenever he senses my discomfort in life. No matter how many times we scream at each other - to the point where we wanna kill each other, i still love him in the end.

i love my football crazy daddy!

title: :(
date: Sunday, August 29, 2010
time:3:22 AM

i really do.

title: wetness all over.
date: Saturday, August 28, 2010
time:2:33 AM

Amrit, this is what i call sexy syg!

man + bike = FUCKING HOT!

i think im in love! <3

title: when a boy turns into a men.
date:
time:1:45 AM

you make me wanna call you in the middle of the night.
you make me wanna hold you till the morning light.

The time for him to turn into a men, has arrived. Managed to sent him off, all the way to Pulau Tekong with his family. I can honestly say, for a girlfriend.. this is a big thing. Watching him man up to his responsibilities makes me feel very proud of him. He was rather very excited to get it started, that all he said was "bye" to me. But whatever it is, they will have to complete this one day or another, so I would rather he does it now then later on.

I do miss him. Every night before i go to bed, he is the only person i think of. Im so used to hearing his voice before i go to sleep, so this is definitely a big change. I keep telling myself that it is only 2 weeks, but 2 weeks is a really long time. Its equal to 14 days. In those 14 days, so many things can happen. But whatever it is, I promised myself and him that i wouldn't make it hard on him, cause i know he will be worried about me. So i keep msging him everyday that, everything is fine and that i love him. I guess by reassuring him, it makes his journey a lil bit easier. I hope so. - fingers crossed-

He will book out on the eve of Hari Raya, for those of you who are wondering. So if you wanna look for him, please msg him after he books out.

title: I WANT A POLAROID CAMERA!
date: Monday, August 23, 2010
time:3:02 PM

i want a polaroid camera, badly!

*wink wink* *hint hint*

title: Hedley - Perfect
date: Friday, August 20, 2010
time:4:15 AM

as long as i can feel you, holding on, i wont fall.
even if you said i was wrong.
im not perfect, but i keep trying.

for you.

title: Backstreet Boys - Helpless When She Smiles
date: Saturday, August 14, 2010
time:1:06 AM

i keep my secrets in my eyes, i wrap the truth inside my lies.
just when you can't say what i've done to you, i led you back to paradise.

i guess this song explains everything.

if you really mean what you say, then you'll understand amrit.

title: i hate love - contradicting, i know.
date: Thursday, August 12, 2010
time:11:22 PM

if only he knew;

I have officially hate LOVE - contradicting, but who cares. I hate falling in love, being in love and being loved. Some people say, love lasts a lifetime, but it doesn't happen for everyone. Everyone goes through breakups. The time when you fall head over heels over someone, think that you're gonna marry him/her, have he/her kids and live happily every after, but you're wrong when you realize you're the only one standing at the aisle.

I'm not saying that I have been left at the aisle before, but I had my fair share of heartbreaks in my 20 years. The heartbreaks usually come from the most unexpected people in your life, parents, siblings, family members, friends and even boyfriends. So maybe that is why I have this grudge against LOVE.

I've actually had enough of being treated like a useless piece of crap. I'm sorry if this isn't what you're looking for in life, but i definitely know one thing, you're enjoying the life that you've always wanted. I mean nothing - i get it, but give me some credit at least. Now it hurts when you hear me say things - things that you never wanna hear, but it's time for me to be honest with myself. I can't keep hiding behind this so called, LOVE and hope that things will change for the better.

I love you and will always do, but I aren't gonna bother you with nonsensical crap in my life anymore. SORRY.