you said move on (where do i go)

title:
date: Thursday, September 04, 2008
time:1:10 AM

Burning Night Oil

i have not had a proper goodnights rest. nothing seem to make sense to me. I cry to myself this nights and my brain is failing on me. i don even have the strength to get up for sahur anymore. I rather sleep then eat. something today made me miss my secondary school life so much.

mrs teo shu yen called me today to ask for my help in school. talking to her made me realise how much i miss secondary school. the times when we could joke with the teachers and look forward to lessons. but now, lecturers are coming down our throat for perfection.

i realised just now that crying doesn't really help me. it doesn't solve my problems, doesn't help me complete my work nor help me make time for those that i care about so much. but the tears just comes when it feels like it. nothing is under my control anymore. not my feelings, anger nor my tears.

i was talking to sha about, what if we decided to drop out if we can't take it anymore? i don't think its a good thing to do but it does pop into my mind as days goes by. but i don't think i would ever do that. but the 2 of us just can't help it. we try to hard to reach for perfection but forget about the smallest things like love and life.

i can't help but think that we might be falling apart as long as i keep going on like this.

i can't even make time to talk to you anymore.

school work takes over my mind and life, and leave you in the dust.

i'm so scared of what the future might bring and i'm scared you wont be there with me.

i miss the times we talked and laughed.

i just can't help it but think about this.

Could YOU help assure me that you will be there no matter what?