you said move on (where do i go)

title:
date: Thursday, November 06, 2008
time:6:51 PM

Contradicting my life.

I know i have not been the best person in the world but i try my best. I have made plenty of mistakes but i always try to make it up to those that i hurt the most. somehow my life is still filled with bad luck and misery. maybe its karma.

life? i have no life. turning 18 was not a good idea after all. more of this and that. mixture of problems, from school to family or school to relationship. i always think to myself, why do i get myself into this much trouble that i regret them in the end. thank god, my friendship problems are over, if not, that would be another addition to my hectic life. school sucks my life away, at an expensive price. i know i was naive enough to get myself into this mess, and now i have to crawl out alive, by myself.

family? they are alright i think. my dad seems to be worried about me. IT TOOK HIM THIS LONG?! he was telling something funny yesterday.

"aisyah, please take care of yourself. no boy girl relationship and don't start any bad habits. your attire should be decent but nice ok? no singlets or tank tops, ok?"

HAHA. funny shit right. let me analysis that. i am taking care of myself. i'm in a boy girl relationship. i don't have any bad habits, i think. my attire is decent. since when have you seen NUR AISYAH D/O A. LATIFF dress in a tank top or a singlet before. pls! i don dare come out the house i those things. maybe at home but outside, in public, no way. his a funny father when his concern but irritating when having one of his moody moments.

friends? i hate them. HAHA! how can i hate my peeps. i hate them only cause they make me miss hanging out with them. but overall, we are all alright. miss them alot and cant wait to meet them soon cause i need to talk to them about some stuff. shhh..

we were at burger king just now, sha and charlene JUST only realise that i'm very naughty and talkative. who doesn't know that about aisyah. i can talk when i'm happy and when i'm mad. nothing can stop the force in me! HAHA! i know i made them laugh till they cried today and i'm glad i made their day, not like that CRUELLA!

school? shitty place to spent your education. its a cool and fun school. lecturers there to help but not when your in trouble. they are rude to the parents. how dare they? they need to get their system right. if not... i'll give them a piece of my mind. (like real! HAHAHA!)

projects? OMG! enough said.

relationship? this part of my life is not that perfect right now. from one fight to another, for the past 3 days. its like a cherry on the top of my creamy life. fights are normal but i don't know why he thinks differently. of course i'm pissed but that doesn't mean i'm going anywhere. i'm not that childish you know!

" i had no intentions of hurting you. thats the last thing i would ever wanna do. i don't like you crying. cause i really hate it. and you have given me much more love then i can ever ask for. so the thing is, i still love you. and i hope you do too."

amrit

the first few parts were sweet and i know his making it up to me but what in the HELL was the last part for. and i hope you do too??!?! i maybe pissed at you but that doesn't mean i hate you. guys will always be guys. nothing can change that. the piss-ness is still in me and i have to let it die down. i may sound as if i don't want to talk to you at times, so don't get the wrong message.

my life is filled with ups and downs, mostly downs now. and i'm filled with stressed. nothing can help me change my fate nor stop it, but keeping myself happy at times, really helps. i take the train everyday with a sad face. a girl filled with stress and problems, hidden behind a smile wherever she goes. can't help it. the aisyah, you use to know, the girl always with a smile is no where to be seen. maybe she's trap somewhere waiting to escape.

sigh.