you said move on, where do i go?


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the muti-talented girl whose life revolves around her friends and family, good food, great talks, creative works, booty-shaking music and funky dance moves - I have a life, and lives it to the fullest."

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1L 2B Adam Aishah Ameera Dee Josh Jeanie Kasmi Poots Sandeep Senget Sha Shantelle Shima Siti Nuraini Waty

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title:
date: Thursday, December 10, 2009
time:8:57 PM
From the time i step into the house, there is no longer anything i look forward too. My smile turns into a frown. People think i have a perfect family. A loving mother, who is a full time housewife and the foundation of the family. A hardworking father, who brings the food home and protects the family. Two fun and loving brothers, who are mischievous yet adorable at times. These are all part of a formula, to make it look like we're a happy family. I'm not saying that we're not, maybe its just me. I'm not happy. I put a fake smile on everyday, to hide my pain. I laugh out loud to distract people from my true identity.

I lost my "best friend". The one who has been there since day one. The one who told me I could do anything, be anyone and accomplish anything. She was the one who was behind everything I do. She held my hand as I took my first steps, and she was the one who was always proud of me. I lost her. I lost her because of trust. She betrayed me. She didn't keep her promise. She left me in the dark for so long, making me believe that everything was going to be okay, but when the day came, she left me there to die. I thought she was someone i could count on but i was wrong. As i sit here and look at her, i can't help but cry. She was everything to me. They were everything to me. But not everyone is what you think they are. As we grow older, we finally understand what it means.

But i have to thank them. Thank them for making me stronger. I realised that I never needed them in my life. I'm strong enough to stand on my own 2 feet. Live my life the way I want it, without anyone to please. I'm an independent female with a bright future. So.. thank you. For the tears i cried every night and the unappreciated times, i promise, that my children will never go through the shit i had to take. I SWEAR!

......

Work. Work. Work. That is all i have been doing this holiday. Hardly spent anytime with my friends. Does that mean i can classify myself as a workaholic. Hmmm.. i think amrit will say, NOPE! My workmates are quite fun. The guys from the bar are especially funny. So that means, i'm always laughing. The shifts are pretty reasonable but there are times when i just can't stand it. The night shifts are horrible. Just waiting as the time passesby so slowly, knowing that its going to be damn crowded around 9plus, is just a horrible feeling. But overall, its GOOD yall!

I met Mrs Teo's sister today. My F&N teacher who had so much hope in me. Her sister actual came over to my workplace for breakfast and I approached her. The 2 of them are so similar. From the voice to the look, and both are teachers. HAHAHAHA! It was nice to know that she is doing fine.

......

Love isn't love till you know it.