you said move on (where do i go)

title:
date: Tuesday, May 04, 2010
time:11:20 PM

i want the shit to go away.

Woke up in a mess. My whole world was upside down. My mom was screaming at me, for something i don't even know what. My brothers were banging on the door like hooligans and my dad was calling, even when he knew that i was asleep. The only things i hear today, was screaming, shouting, banging, yelling. It feels like i'm in prison or something. Okay, i don't know how prison is but i bet its quieter then here.

Had my lunch/breakfast infront of the tv. Even starhub had to piss me off. They changed all the channel numbers, and i forgot about it. Kept pressing 20 for MTV, and it kept giving this message that pissed the shit out of me. I know i should be feeling embarassed right now, but im not. I'm so pissed. Why must you even change the bloody channel numbers?! why! What for? Now i have to memorize all the numbers again. ARGGGGHHHH!

Went to my grandma's house around 6, to sent her some food. That was the only time, i felt relaxed. I was away from stress. But then public transport and weather had to ruin it all. ARGGHH!!

I don't expect anyone to understand. I just finished my projects and im currently in a dilemma. I need to get my life back on track. Everything is complicated now. My sleeping patterns are different and my attitude towards certain things are different. I don't expect anyone to understand the state i am in, but at least give me the chance to get myself back on my feet. That is all i what/need.

i don't expect you to understand.

we fight over the smallest things.

i hate it.

my temper is on the shortest fuse, and i'm trying to remain calm.

im not saying that you are always trying to find fault with me.

but somehow we always have something to fight about something.

so now, i dont know what to do anymore.

im numb.

im lost.

for once in my life, about you.