you said move on (where do i go)

title: i've run-out of straws for you.
date: Wednesday, July 14, 2010
time:3:01 AM

I've come to the end of the line. The line that sets me apart from everyone else. This line keeps me from losing my sanity. My sanity is the only thing that is keeping me alive. Do I make sense, to you? I bet I don't.

I'm losing myself, slowly, but people don't see that. They don't see that part of me that sinks to the bottom of the bottomless pit of doom. My cousin told me, "we're all going to hell and i'm driving the bus!", that is so god-damn true! We're going to hell. You may pray to your own gods, but deep down we know we've done something we're not suppose too. Deep down, you made a mistake and there isn't anything you can do that can whine up the past, so you can take your sorry ass and make it right. You can't, i mean we can't.

I admit, i've made plenty of mistakes before, and i'm pretty sure i'm still making them as we speak. But the fact that hell doesn't scare me anymore, scare me shitless. Knowing that I don't care about how I'll be after I die, makes no difference in my life, cause right now, I'm dead to everyone. To the world and to the people I love.

Hell is just a word created by man, to scare kids in doing the things that man wants them to do. Mom would stare at they're kids and say, "God sees everything, and he's gonna throw your ass to hell if you don't go to church." - Back to what i was saying.

From lines to losing myself and finally to hell, what can i conclude from this post? Well, that's simple.. The people that i love, is driving me to the point where I don't believe in things i can feel or touch. They're driving me to my grave, as i speak. The people that i love are the ones that are pulling me down, emotionally and physically. They are the ones who made me so god-damn IMPERFECT, for the boy that i once thought was my bestfriend.

That boy, no longer exist as my bestfriend, but just a friend that i've fallen in love with. I'm sorry to say this, but its true. I told you once, but i don't mind saying it again.. You never understood me, and you'll never will. Sorry I don't come with an instruction manual or a booklet for you to refer too. I was just made this way, un-willingly.

Just ignore the ranting, needed time to write SHIT down.